How CAR Tried to Blockchain Its Way to Elites and Ended Up Losing Big

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Well, folks, the Central African Republic decided to jazz things up with some crypto magic. Because nothing says “steady governance” like adopting Bitcoin and launching a memecoin in a country barely powered by dreams-and maybe a little electricity, if you’re lucky. ⚡️🔌

The latest drama from the Global Initiative Against Transnational Organized Crime (GI-TOC) reveals that CAR’s crypto adventure is basically a karaoke night with the wrong playlist-lots of off-key notes and a suspicious side gig for foreign crooks. Turns out, introducing Bitcoin as legal tender in a place where most people aren’t even sure what money looks like is a great idea-not.

Apparently, the move was more about impressing international investors than actually helping the country’s people-who have bigger things to worry about than buying Sango Coin or meme tokens while their power flickers like a bad disco. 💡🙃 The report calls out a July 2023 law that lets them tokenize stuff like oil, gold, and land, which sounds cool until you realize it might just turn the nation into a treasure map for greedy pirates.

CAR Tried Bitcoin, Then Hit ‘Undo’ 💸

In 2022, CAR said, “Let’s do Bitcoin!” and everyone was like, “Wow, modern!” But by 2023, they pulled the plug faster than you can say “fiscal responsibility.” Turns out, fewer than 40% of people even had phones, and only 15.7% had electricity-so trading digital coins was about as realistic as teaching a goldfish to do calculus. 🐟💻

And yes, the president-Faustin-Archange Touadéra-was basically surrounded by crypto fans, Russian business buddies, and shady magnates like Nicolae and Émile. Because nothing screams “good governance” like a cozy group of insiders playing Monopoly with the country’s resources while everyone else is just trying to survive the latest power outage. 🎲

The GI-TOC also pointed out that CAR’s hoped-for crypto projects-like Sango Coin-sold less than 10% of what they aimed for. The memecoin? Well, it’s down over 93% in value, which is basically the digital version of “Why did I buy that?” 🤔

So, lesson? Don’t try to blockchain your way out of governance chaos-unless you want to turn your country into a fancy game of “How much can we lose in crypto?” Stay tuned for more adventures in “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” 🚀💥

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2025-12-17 16:28