Ah, Robert Kiyosaki – the guy who writes money-manuals that could make your wallet weep – is warning us that the financial apocalypse is upon us! The mighty US dollar is flopping like a fish in a slapstick routine, all thanks to Donald Trump’s tariff tango that has the world doing a merry economic jig. 😜
But never fear, my cash-crunching comrades! Kiyosaki says it’s not too late to bust a move and save your bacon—if you hurry and switch your dance card to gold, silver, and Bitcoin. Cha-ching! 💃🕺
Cataclysm Comin’ at Ya, You Nutjobs!
Our very own fortune-teller Kiyosaki now claims that the crash he chuckled about in his books is becoming as real as my Aunt Mabel’s meatloaf! Stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and ETFs are plummeting faster than a kazoo solo at a Mel Brooks marathon – leaving people with savings thinner than a knock-knock joke.
HEY, LISTEN UP! Gold, Silver, & Bitcoin are singing like a barbershop quartet on a Saturday night. Gold’s soaring like a rocket on a caffeine buzz, silver’s hotter than a fresh batch of bagels, and Bitcoin? It’s roaring louder than a rabid hamster! Are you paying attention, or should I get a megaphone? I told you, the biggest market crash ever is strutting into town like Liberace in sequins…
— Robert Kiyosaki (@theRealKiyosaki) April 13, 2025
According to our hilarious harbinger, this isn’t a regular market hiccup – it’s a pre-planned disaster, choreographed by those shadowy central banks. Yep, Kiyosaki points his finger at the U.S. Federal Reserve and its global cronies, who’re pulling financial strings like a bad ventriloquist act.
Meanwhile, these banks are as crooked as a cartoon villain’s mustache, stomping on the U.S. dollar like an overzealous boot at a slapstick parade.
By cranking out money like it’s confetti at a surprise party and keeping interest rates flatter than yesterday’s soufflé, they’ve unleashed inflation – that pesky gremlin whispering bad news to your savings. Now, folks who once danced in piles of cash are left wondering where all their moolah went!
Bitcoin: The Last Chuckle in This Dismal Comedy?
With the old investments nosediving like a comedian’s punchline, Kiyosaki nudges us toward a trio of miracle cures: gold (strutting at a dazzling $3,200), silver (demand rising faster than a one-liner at a Mel Brooks show), and Bitcoin – currently jiving at a spicy $86,000!
Bitcoin has long been the superhero dodging inflation’s bad jokes. And with the fiat currency as weak as a nervous stand-up on open mic night, Kiyosaki insists it’s time to bet on this digital dynamo!
Right now, Bitcoin is shimmying around $84,614, showing off a quirky 24-hour rise. But don’t get too comfortable – it’s stomping its feet at the $88k barrier, and if it busts through, we might just witness a knock-your-socks-off rocket ride to $100k! 🚀
Meanwhile, experts are getting bullish – not the grizzly kind, mind you – as the Relative Strength Index (RSI) is partying above 60, hinting that Bitcoin’s price might just do the cha-cha right into the stratosphere!
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2025-04-14 10:23