Heart Wins! SEC Case Ends? 😱

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Ah, the American Securities and Exchange Commission, a body as predictable as a bureaucrat’s fondness for paperwork, has declared it shall not be pursuing further its case against one Richard Schueler, known in certain circles as Richard Heart. A curious fellow, this Heart, wouldn’t you agree? 🤔

“Plaintiff Securities and Exchange Commission provides this notice that it does not intend to file an amended complaint in this matter,” declared the regulator’s lawyer, Matthew Gulde, in a letter to New York District Court Judge Carol Bagley Amon. A letter, mind you! As if the fate of a billion dollars could be settled with a mere scribble. ✍️

The court, in its infinite wisdom, had previously dismissed the SEC’s original complaint, noting that the regulator had failed to prove its jurisdiction over Heart’s activities. Activities, mind you, that Judge Amon deemed not “specifically targeted” at the good people of the United States. As if money knows borders! 🌍

Heart, never one to miss an opportunity for self-aggrandizement, posted on X (a platform for modern-day town criers, no less) that “Richard Heart, PulseChain, PulseX, and HEX have defeated the SEC completely and have achieved regulatory clarity that nearly no other coins have.” Oh, the hubris! The audacity! One almost admires it. 🤣

Heart further claimed that the SEC had “lost” and crypto had “won across the board.” A bold statement, indeed! As if the world were a chessboard and the SEC merely a pawn in Heart’s grand game. ♟️

He even went so far as to suggest that the SEC had sued software code itself! Can you imagine such a thing? Suing lines of code! It’s like suing the wind for blowing leaves into your yard. Preposterous! 🍃

SEC Hunted Heart in Finland (of all places!)

The SEC, in its pursuit of justice (or perhaps just a headline), sued Heart in July 2023, claiming he made over $1 billion by touting tokens as a “pathway to grandiose wealth for investors.” Grandiose, indeed! As if such a thing were possible! (Spoiler: it rarely is) 💰

Heart, with the cunning of a fox, tried to have the suit tossed, claiming the regulator had no sway over him because he didn’t reside in the United States. A convenient excuse, wouldn’t you say? 🦊

The SEC, not to be outdone, claimed he touted the tokens at a Las Vegas event. A Vegas event! Where else would one tout grandiose wealth? In December 2024, Interpol issued a Red Notice for Heart, seeking his arrest in Finland, where he was also suspected of tax evasion. Tax evasion! The most reliable of crimes. 💸

The PulseChain native token (HEX) hit an all-time high of $0.031 in December 2024 but has since tanked 76%. A tragic tale! As if the dreams of investors were as fleeting as a summer breeze. 💨

And so, the SEC, under the… *ahem*… Trump administration, has dropped or suspended several cases against crypto firms. A curious turn of events, wouldn’t you agree? Perhaps they’ve simply run out of ink for their endless paperwork. 🤷‍♂️

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2025-04-23 08:00