Hark! 🎭 Pavel Durov, that noble founder of Telegram, a messaging app most popular, and a social platform of some renown, hath taken to X, formerly known as Twitter, to address the rabble. A matter grave, concerning not just Telegram, but all such digital missives in the realm!
Specifically, he doth lament the fate of Telegram users dwelling in France – their privacy, already battered, may once again be imperiled by the whims of those in power. 🇫🇷 Sacré bleu!
France, a Land of Liberty, May Shackle Encryption! 🔗
Durov, with a heavy heart and quill, doth express his disquietude over the state of encrypted messages in France. Just last month, he proclaims, the French authorities, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), nearly succeeded in their quest to ban encryption altogether. 🚫
Last month, France nearly banned encryption. A law requiring messaging apps to implement a backdoor for police access to private messages was passed by the Senate. Luckily, it was shot down by the National Assembly. Yet 3 days ago the Paris Police Prefect advocated for it again.
— Pavel Durov (@durov) April 21, 2025
A law, most devious, demanding developers to leave a back door – a secret passage, if you will – for the constabulary to peek into private messages, was indeed passed by the Senate. However, by some miracle, the National Assembly, in a moment of clarity, did reject this absurdity. 🤣
Yet, alas, the Paris Police Prefect, undeterred, has renewed the assault on privacy! Durov doth declare that unless this law is vanquished once more, France may be the first kingdom where electronic correspondence is as transparent as a courtier’s lies. 🤥
He doth emphasize that even nations not known for their excessive freedoms have yet to ban encrypted messages, for developers cannot guarantee that only the police shall have access to these private missives. A slippery slope, indeed!
Durov Issues a Dire Warning: Telegram May Flee France! 🏃♂️
“Once introduced, a backdoor becomes a playground for rogues – foreign agents, mischievous hackers, all eager to snoop!” Durov doth proclaim. In such a scenario, every law-abiding citizen would lose their privacy, their secrets laid bare for any scoundrel to exploit. 😱
Furthermore, Pavel, in his infinite wisdom, is certain that this law, ostensibly aimed at preventing drug trafficking, would be as effective as a sieve in stopping water. For “criminals could still communicate securely through dozens of smaller apps – and become even harder to trace due to VPNs.” A cat and mouse game, played with the privacy of the innocent. 🤦♂️
This is why, as I’ve said before, Telegram would rather exit a market than undermine encryption with backdoors and violate basic human rights. Unlike some of our competitors, we don’t trade privacy for market share.
— Pavel Durov (@durov) April 21, 2025
He doth underscore the gravity of this threat to his own creation, Telegram, stating that should this law be enacted, Telegram “would rather exit a market than undermine encryption with backdoors and violate basic human rights.” A noble stance, indeed! Without naming names, Durov hints at platforms like Facebook, and the scandals of yesteryear when user data was sold to advertisers without so much as a “by your leave.” A cautionary tale, if ever there was one. 😈
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- tag, not repeated as a header. They want all images retained and no tags or color styles. First, I’ll start with the title. The original title is “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” I need to make it more clickbaity and Terry Pratchett-esque. Maybe something like “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” That’s under 100 characters? Let me check: “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” – yes, 97 characters. Good. Next, the body. The first paragraph talks about the rollercoaster week with whale activity and liquidations. Terry would probably compare it to something absurd. Maybe a “rollercoaster” isn’t enough. Maybe “the Hyperliquid rollercoaster took a detour through a black hole” or something. Also, mention the whale trader with a humorous twist. Maybe “a certain whale with a penchant for drama and a balance sheet thicker than a fantasy novel” to add that Pratchett flair. The second paragraph about the $19 billion event. Maybe refer to it as “the Great Liquidation of Doom” or something. “fresh on the backdrop” could be “fresh from the annals of ‘Oh My Goodness, Not Again'” to add humor. In the price analysis section, the 8% drop. Terry might compare it to a “graceful swan dive into a puddle of despair.” The market cap and volume up 4.22%-maybe “panic selling and algorithmic trades are having a party where the only music is the sound of wallets sobbing.” The technicals part: slipped below SMA lines. Maybe “HYPE decided to play ‘hot potato’ with its moving averages.” MACD and RSI-describe them as “momentum indicators are throwing a hissy fit” and RSI “hovering near 41 like a nervous pigeon.” The FAQs need to be rewritten with sarcasm. “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming?” could be phrased as “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming? Well, let’s see. It’s like asking why a duck is bad at chess…” Then mention the technical breakdowns and whale shorts as “a perfect storm of technical breakdowns and whale-sized shorts.” Next support level: “The $33-$35 range is the next critical support zone…” Maybe “the $33-$35 range is where hopes go to be gently soothed by Fibonacci fairy dust.” Recovery question: “HYPE needs a sustained close above $41.42…” Maybe “HYPE needs to do the equivalent of a sober caber toss over $41.42.” Throughout, add emojis where appropriate. For example, after mentioning whales, add 🐋💸. In the FAQs, maybe 💩 for the underperforming question. Check for all images retained. The figure tag is there, so leave it as is. Avoid using tags, no color styles. Ensure the title is only in the tag and not as a header. The original had H2 headers, so keep those but maybe tweak the text to be more whimsical. Like “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” becomes “Hyperliquid Price Analysis (Or: The Day the HYPE Died?)” Wait, but the user said not to repeat the title in the body as a header. The original title was “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” but the new title is different. So the H2 headers should be original, so the first H2 can stay as “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” but maybe add some humor there. Alternatively, maybe “Hyperliquid’s Great Adventure in the Land of Red Arrows” or something. But need to make sure it’s not the same as the title. Also, ensure that the humor is consistent throughout, with a bit of sarcasm and playful language. Avoid markdown, just HTML. Check for any tags and remove them. Use , , , etc., as in the original. Finally, wrap it all in HTML structure with the new title, and ensure emojis are appropriately placed without overdoing it. Let me go through each section step by step and inject the humor, sarcasm, and emojis as per Terry Pratchett’s style.End of Thought (23.26s) Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸
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2025-04-21 14:53