Ethereum Bulls on a Rampage: 67 Million ETH Holders Poised for Green Glory!

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For several days, as if tormented by the horn of some overzealous fireman, Ethereum (ETH) hurried along the price avenue with unseemly haste. The market—an insomniac gathering of very speculative souls—peered over its spectacles as ETH, pushed by an unseen hand, waltzed up nearly 40%. One could imagine countless investors in their modest rooms, eyes ringed with the fatigue of much expectation, watching as their portfolios finally inched from red—a color reminiscent of Turgenev’s favorite borscht—into something more springlike.

Rumor has it some 6.61 million investors, a nation unto themselves, are moments from discovering their Ethereum holdings have finally blossomed. But the drama is not without casualties; so many bearish folks, formerly convinced of ETH’s doom, have been swept away by that irresistible upward tide. Should the price leap a mere 3% more, the number of embittered shorters forcibly liquidated could spike—the last telegrams suggest nearly $800 million stands teetering on the abyss, hoping the bears might finally, for once, be right.

Some Candles Burn Brighter Than Others (But Not for the Bears!)

In one of those fits of exuberance known only to markets and Russian duelists, Ethereum surged from $1,812 to $2,584 in just two days—May 8 through May 10. Picture three bullish candles, standing shoulder-to-shoulder on the chart, as if raising a ruckus at the local tavern; traders call this the “triple white soldier.” A fearsome signal. So, the skeptics muttered into their beards, as the chart’s ‘U’ shape rounded off much like Ivan Sergeyevich himself rounding off a melancholy tale by the samovar.

This new trend, launched from a two-year nadir at $1,386—a time history will remember as the age of tariff wars—has now leapt past the March high at $2,517. Market sages, perhaps emboldened by a glass of weak tea, have traced this “rounding bottom” and estimate, by the mysterious art of line-drawing, a possible voyage as high as $4,570. Ambitious, yes; but if one is to dream, dream with the confidence of a Russian aristocrat and the wallet of a crypto whale.

Should Ethereum loaf about above $2,500 much longer, the bulls—their mustaches bristling with anticipation—suspect escape from the old pattern is nigh. Mathematicians with more faith in moving averages than the Russian clergy note ETH trades comfortably above its 200-day EMA (not, unfortunately, an abbreviation for any fashionable French speech). RSI, meanwhile, signals much buying—a mighty overbought zone, albeit a warning that the hangover might follow the party.

If, however, some caprice from above (or perhaps below) drags ETH beneath its 200-day EMA and 50% Fibonacci comfort blanket around $2,430, the entire affair could falter. In that case, a retreat to $2,144 awaits, which is less “market optimism” and more “back to the countryside for spiritual recovery.”

Half the Market Hopes, the Other Half Prepares to Weep 💸

As Pectra’s upgrade (presumably a reliable fellow) and the general intoxication of broader rallies flood in, Ethereum’s bears look rather like winter coats in June—out of place and itching to be discarded. Coinglass’s own oracles have mapped out $786M in short liquidations at $2,586, suggesting the next brisk 3% jog upward could rattle more nerves than a Dostoevsky plot twist.

But beware—fate abhors a one-sided story. A mere 3% tumble, to $2,438, and some $715 million in long positions might find themselves writing tearful letters home. Markets promise drama on every side.

A Chorus of 6.61 Million: “Comrade, Am I Finally in the Green?”

IntoTheBlock’s wondrous GIOM data (which, to a Russian novelist, may look like a work of magic realism) suggests the moment of victory is nigh for the 6.61 million holders whose ETH supply, nearly 67 million strong, sits on the very edge of profitability. Their fortunes, bought somewhere between $2,360 and $2,557, teeter on an average price like a samovar on a rickety table. One step further, and their ETH becomes officially “in the money”—laughter, song, perhaps a cautious vodka toast to follow.

To sum up (if any market tale can be summed)—should this leverage-driven rally collide with the newfound profitability of millions, we might observe Ethereum climb to heights as dizzying as a Russian birch at the start of spring. Chart-readers eye $4,570, while the fabled $3,000 stands as a promising, if slightly anxious, milestone along the way. Who said trading was not at least as mad as love in the time of Turgenev? 🌿💰

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2025-05-12 10:01