Dogecoin Holders Face Epic Liquidation Wipeout: Crypto Hilarity Ensues! 😂

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Imagine, if you will, our protagonist: the Dogecoin (DOGE) enthusiast—a curiously buoyant species, prone to moonlit optimism and moments of tragicomic despair. News from the pit reveals that a battalion of “long” loyalists—chasing a canine-shaped fortune—have lately been ejected from the stage as DOGE’s price performed a balletic nosedive.

Dogecoin’s Spectacular Recovery Has Turned Into an Awkward Somersault

Earlier this week, our ever-hopeful coin vaulted—nay, pounced—across the $0.25 hurdle. But alas! The trend, that cruel and arbitrary mistress, slipped out from under our hero’s paws, resulting in a most public pratfall.

Observe! A representation in pixels and squiggles of DOGE’s recent planetary motion:

One shudders to recall: DOGE’s value plummeted to a canine-unworthy $0.217—comparable to a Chihuahua playing dress-up as a wolf. After much whimpering, the price rebounded to $0.227… but still, our furry friend remains almost 10% in the crimson, licking its wounds and blaming squirrels.

Of course, other crypto critters also saw their fur scorched by the flames of the market—but DOGE, ever the eccentric uncle at the reunion, managed to underperform even the most awkward cousins among the top market-cap tokens. Yet! Cast thine eyes upon the week—behold: a plucky 34% rally! (Memo to readers: Past performance is not a guarantee you won’t trip on your own tail next time.)

By a mad twist of cosmic mischief, DOGE still sits in eighth place among digital titans—ahead of Cardano (ADA). Cardano, if you’re reading this: fetch!

DOGE and Its Friends Drown in Liquidations—Bring Swimwear 👙

As is customary following such a market bellyflop, liquidations have flooded the derivatives exchanges. “Liquidation”—a term which evokes umbrellas and sinking ships—simply means that dreams (and positions) are forcibly closed once losses hit their humiliating crescendo. Salut!

It takes little deduction—less Sherlock, more Shiba Inu—to guess that DOGE, beloved by risk-enthusiasts everywhere, would lead the charge. Let CoinGlass serve as our looking glass, and giggle at the spectacle:

There it is in phosphorescent glory: $22.5 million in DOGE long contracts—liquidated like last week’s leftover caviar. $19 million of those were—brace yourself—longs, presumably opened in the heat of dogged optimism and closed by the icy hands of mathematics.

Yet DOGE’s misfortune, while considerable in the canine universe, is but a yawn compared to the fireworks in Bitcoin ($154 million) and Ethereum ($136 million) liquidations—schoolyard bullies shoving the smaller coins off the monkey bars of speculative finance.

All told, the crypto colosseum echoes with over $610 million in liquidations, $489 million coming from long investors, proving once and for all: hope springs eternal—and then slips comically on a banana peel.

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2025-05-14 09:29