Cryptocurrency’s Dark Secret: Coinbase’s Faceprint Fiasco! 😱🔥

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Cryptocurrency’s Dark Secret: Coinbase’s Faceprint Fiasco! 😱🔥

Imagine, dear reader, the cold, relentless glare of the machine—no, not the metaphorical one, but your very own face, captured and stored like a barbaric relic, all without your knowing. Coinbase, that shiny titan of crypto, now faces a lawsuit that threatens to strip away its polished veneer. 😂💀

  • Coinbase sued in Illinois for collecting faceprints without consent. 
  • Lawsuit alleges violations of Illinois’ Biometric Privacy Act.

Ah, Illinois—land of Lincoln, deep-dish pizza, and apparently, biometric espionage! According to the complaint, Coinbase has delved into the sacred realm of facial recognition, snatching biometric data during their KYC rituals—like a thief in the night, mind you—without bothering to ask the cursed people’s permission. Scott Bernstein, Gina Greeder, and James Lonergan, armed with the law, stand like modern-day Rogues, claiming this act is a breach of Illinois’ strict Biometric Privacy Act. And oh, how the fines could pile up—like debts in an existential nightmare. 😏💸

The lawsuit? It doesn’t beat around the bush. It declares Coinbase’s facial scans unlawful, asserting they didn’t give users the written consent required by law—because, naturally, transparency is too much trouble. The court documents reveal that Coinbase’s biometric theft is a Pandora’s box of treachery, risking user privacy like a drunken gambler risking it all at the cursed table of digital fortune. 🎭

Legal violations that are alleged and claims made in court

Now, the list of sins: Coinbase allegedly broke BIPA thrice—three times, mind you!—without informing or asking before snatching biometric secrets. As if that weren’t enough, Illinois law screams that companies must have policies, transparent as truth itself, about how they handle our precious biometric data. Instead, Coinbase’s actions are akin to whispering sweet nothings while stealing your soul—or at least your facial features. If the plaintiffs have their way, Coinbase might find itself paying $5,000 per deliberate breach and $1,000 per careless slip-up—sums that could shatter their gilded image. 😅

Adding insult to injury, Coinbase plays the role of a shaky courier sharing biometric data with third-party companies—Jumio, Onfido, Au10tix—without proper notice! It’s like handing out secret recipes without telling anyone—you’d get sued faster than you can say “privacy violation.” Illinois law demands policies, regulations, and perhaps a prayer, which Coinbase, apparently, forgot to implement. What a surprise! 🙄

The case from Illinois is turning eyes to the world of crypto and tech—where biometric data is the new gold, and privacy is the sacrificial lamb. Illinois, with its formidable laws, is proving to be the stern parent, reminding everyone that if you’re going to record faces, you better get permission—lest you face the wrath of Facebook, Google, and now Coinbase. The stakes are high, the fines enormous, and the reputation—well, isn’t it already in the sewer? 💩

A General Overview of the Legal Difficulties Facing Coinbase

Coinbase can’t seem to catch a break these days. First, they had a delightful incident in India where support agents leaked user info—names, balances, transactions—like a bad soap opera. Six more lawsuits followed, each more damning than the last. Now, throw in a biometric privacy lawsuit, and one wonders if they have a behind-the-scenes contract with disaster itself. Their attempt to grow rich at the expense of privacy might just end with them drowning in fines—if the law is kind. 😜

And let us not forget, in the wild west of cryptocurrency, regulations are tightening—forcing exchanges like Coinbase to demand all sorts of sensitive info, including biometric scans. They claim to follow the law, but watch as the shadows of doubt lengthen in this high-stakes game of digital poker. As for silence—they’re masters of that, refusing to comment while the legal storms brew. ☔️

The SEC, that overly cautious watchdog, recently dismissed charges—giving Coinbase a temporary reprieve. But this biometric fiasco? It’s a fresh and potentially deadly blow. Fines, reputational damage, and the wrath of privacy advocates loom like a guillotine—waiting, eager, and unforgiving. 🗡️

This lawsuit? It might serve as a warning—a cautionary tale for all crypto platforms dabbling in biometric data. With thousands of arbitration cases whispering behind the scenes, Coinbase’s fate hangs in the balance—doomed or saved, only time will tell. Yet, as secrets seep out and laws tighten, the question remains: who truly owns your face? The answer, perhaps, is darker than one might wish. 🤔

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2025-05-19 22:46