So, the SEC and the CFTC are having a little…meeting. About crypto. Apparently, someone remembered crypto exists. This is happening amidst this whole national project to turn America into the “Crypto Capital of the World,” which, honestly, sounds like a very specific fever dream someone had after too much Red Bull.
They’re Trying To Figure It Out
SEC Chairman Paul Atking (yes, really) and CFTC Chairman Michael Selig – and I’m picturing a very beige room for this announcement – are teaming up. They’re going to talk about making the rules less confusing. Because right now, navigating crypto regulations is about as clear as mud wrestling in a dark room.
Their big plan? To “deliver on President Trump’s promise.” Because of course, the whole crypto boom is all about fulfilling campaign promises. It’s good to know our nation’s financial future is secured by vibes and slogans.
This riveting event (yes, I’m being sarcastic) will be on January 27th, moderated by crypto journalist Eleanor Terret, and livestreamed – because nothing says “transparency” like watching bureaucrats talk about regulations on the internet.
“For too long…” they said in a joint statement, probably while simultaneously checking their stock portfolios. Apparently, unclear rules are bad for…innovation? Or something.
They want innovation to “take root on American soil“. Honestly, I think weeds are taking root on American soil at a faster rate, but who’s counting?
Last year, they started discussing options, which, let’s be real, is what people do when they’re avoiding actual decisions. They even considered bringing back a committee just to talk about talking. Very efficient.
As reported by Bitcoinist (who have a vested interest, let’s be honest), they’re trying to end “regulatory fragmentation.” Which, I assume, means fewer departments blaming each other when things go sideways.
We are at a crossroads. If we follow the path of our predecessors, America risks ceding leadership in the next chapter of financial history. (…) This ends now (…) our two agencies must work in lockstep to transform dual regulation from a source of confusion into a source of strength. Together, we can offer the best of both worlds: the investor protections that have defined U.S. markets, combined with the innovation-friendly approach that will keep us at the frontier of financial technology throughout the 21st century.
Jamie Selway, Director of the SEC’s Division of Trading and Markets (a very important title, I’m sure), is now working “shoulder-to-shoulder” with the CFTC, which, frankly, sounds a little awkward. Like a forced team-building exercise.
Congress Is A Mess, Shocking
Meanwhile, Congress is…being Congress. Their attempts to make actual laws are stalled. Because, naturally, things couldn’t be too efficient.
Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong is not impressed. He’d rather have no law than a “bad” law. Which, honestly, is a mood.
The Senate Agriculture Committee did publish something, which is a start. Apparently, it’s similar to what the House did. Progress? Maybe.
Eleanor Terret (she’s busy) says people are “mostly positive,” which is PR code for “barely tolerating it.”
And because affordable housing is apparently less important than crypto, talks may be delayed. Priorities, people!
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2026-01-24 07:11