Crypto Mania: Fidelity Drops $145M on Ether 😱

One gathers that Fidelity Investments, those paragons of sensible finance, have seen fit to fritter away $145 million on what is colloquially known as “Ether.” One suspects a clerical error, perhaps a misplaced decimal point, but no. It appears to be entirely deliberate. One wonders if anyone in the upper echelons of Fidelity has actually seen a cryptocurrency exchange. It’s all rather frightfully modern, isn’t it? 🤔

This prodigious expenditure, they tell us, is a ‘reflection of rising institutional demand.’ Of course it is. Everyone is simply dying to own digital tokens. One imagines board meetings filled with breathless pronouncements about ‘disruptive technology’ and the urgent need to embrace the future. The Ether, at the time of this, frankly bewildering transaction, was apparently hovering somewhere near the astronomical sum of $4,600. A bargain, no doubt.

And so it goes. Spot ETFs, institutional channels – it’s all frightfully complicated. The crucial takeaway, however, is that someone, somewhere, is confident in Ether’s ‘potential.’ Potential for what, one does not precisely know. Perhaps a spectacular and highly public collapse? 🤷 One can only hope it provides suitable fodder for future gossip. One anticipates a rather splendid mess. 🍾

2025-08-13 08:37

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