Crypto, it appears, has developed an insatiable appetite for traditional finance, and Coinbase is on a mission to see if the entire banking sector can, in fact, fit inside a blockchain sandwich. As decentralization threatens to do for finance what smartphones did for phone booths, Coinbase sharpens its cutlery and prepares for a global buffet unlike anything since the Big Bang’s brunch menu. 🍽️💸
Brian Armstrong Predicts Crypto Will Munch on Finance—Coinbase Starts Licking Its Lips
Brian Armstrong, whose job title (“CEO of Coinbase”) sounds suspiciously like someone who does their own taxes, peered into the murky liverwurst of the financial future on X (formerly Twitter, currently still confusing):
Our thesis: crypto is going to eat most of financial services, and Coinbase is 100% focused on crypto.
This declaration came hot on the digital heels of Coinbase serving up updates to its lending services—think USDC loans, bitcoin-backed IOUs, and other innovations that make your local bank look about as modern as a rotary phone with stage fright.
Meanwhile, Max Branzburg—Coinbase’s head of consumer products and clearly not a man to let a good crypto metaphor go to waste—announced that USDC loans via Morpho Labs are ballooning faster than an overenthusiastic soufflé. We’re talking $120 million in May, $45 million in April, $14 million in March, $2 million in February, and precisely zero in January. That’s exponential growth, or possibly a clerical error.
And with just $265 million in bitcoin huddled up as collateral (while the rest lounges on the blockchain equivalent of a beach holiday), Branzburg sees endless room for crypto-backed lending to get, well, fatter. Coinbase also announced: bitcoin-backed loans are now available in the U.S.—unless you live in New York, where everything comes with a catch, or possibly two.
Armstrong, never one to let a bandwagon roll by without leaping aboard, took to X again to prophecy the blockchain-enabled future of credit markets, saying:
Credit markets are moving onchain. We eventually want to power small business loans, home loans, car loans, uncollateralized loans, and probably loans to fund your next holiday on Mars. There’s a whole world out there not getting loans—and we can fix that, assuming no one accidentally unplugs the servers.
While crypto lending seems destined for a starring role in the great soap opera of global finance, skeptics are quick to appear, raising perfectly reasonable questions involving regulation, risk, and whether anyone actually understands what an onchain market is. Still, enthusiasts keep waving the flag, promising a future where borrowing is as smooth, global, and possibly risky as hitchhiking through the galaxy with only a towel and a hardware wallet. 🛸🚀
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2025-05-04 04:57