Crypto Investors Drop $500M Like a Hot Potato—Bitcoin Gets Stage Fright

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What’s the lowdown? Oh, it’s spicy:

  • $500 million in long liquidations, because apparently, bitcoin’s hobby is giving people ulcers.
  • The U.S. and China are flirting with peace again—hello “tariff truce”—and crypto noticed, got awkward, and spilt its drink.
  • Everyone’s obsessing over the June Fed meeting like it’s the season finale of “Will the Economy Tank?”

In a plot twist nobody wanted—unless you’re a drama queen—crypto had one of its classic “Oops, did I do that?” moments late Monday. Bitcoin, in true diva form, slid off its weekend party high, leaving over $500 million in long liquidations in its wake. DOGE and ADA joined the chaos, falling awkwardly by 7%. Basically, they saw bitcoin tripping over itself and said, “hold my leash.”

Coinglass claims over $530 million got liquidated in the last 24 hours. That’s… approximately infinity in relatable terms. Nearly $200 million vanished in bitcoin’s little misadventure, with ether (ETH) pulling a $170 million disappearing act. Houdini would be proud. 🪄

So, what the hell is a liquidation? Imagine you’re at a casino, betting more than you can reasonably get away with. The house comes over, taps you on the shoulder, and suddenly you’re outside in the rain, wallet considerably lighter. Not fun. And definitely not an HBO Max drama, but maybe it should be.

Meanwhile, the big kids (dogecoin and cardano) took an ego hit, down 7%. Even solana, xrp, and BNB proved they, too, could be “relatable” by dropping between 5% and 6%. Relatable? Not really. Expensive? Painfully.

Rewind: Last week was a euphoric rollercoaster. ETH moonwalked up 40%. Major altcoins acted like TikTok teens and hit double digits. Short sellers got burned for a billion bucks—the largest annihilation since 2021. Bitcoin? It brushed past $104,000 for a fleeting moment, then realized how high up it was and got vertigo. 🍾

Monday’s drama started during U.S. trading hours when news hit about the U.S. and China making nice. Some tariffs got the axe. Suddenly, everyone’s pretending to be grown-ups. But while stock markets popped a confetti cannon, the crypto crowd shuffled their feet and re-wrote the “risk-on” playlist.

Future open interest dropped over $1.2 billion (that’s “billion” with a big “ouch”), meaning the risk-takers all bolted for the exits. De-leveraging is in—running headfirst into brick walls is out, apparently.

Here’s the million-dollar question: do we get our FOMO back soon, or is this hangover permanent? The “experts”—because we love official-sounding people—are all peering at the June Fed meeting like fortune tellers. Jeff Mei, crypto exec, slid into Telegram DMs to say that unless Jerome Powell drops the mic and triggers a money fountain, Bitcoin could stay sulking in the corner. 🕵️‍♂️

So, will the U.S. economy get the pep talk investors crave, or is another recession bender on the way? Stay tuned, bet carefully, and always keep one eye on the exit.

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2025-05-13 08:42