Alright, so here’s the deal: crypto’s bouncing back and folks are crediting these so-called bond vigilantes. Yeah, sounds like a Batman spinoff, but no. This guy Ed Yardeni came up with the name, and apparently, these vigilantes are the nerdy investors who freak out whenever the government tries to mess with their precious bonds.
Basically, they sell bonds like it’s Black Friday, driving yields up so borrowing becomes as pricey as a NYC apartment. The government? They hate it, obviously.
And guess what? The stock market decided to throw a party too. The Dow Jones, Nasdaq 100, even those fancy German and French indices—everyone jumped over 10% like it was a volleyball match. It’s like this market rally is on a world tour.
So, back in the ring, we had Trump with his “Liberation Day” speech, which sounds more like a bad movie title than a policy announcement. He slapped on the highest tariffs on China, then tossed a 10% tariff party for everyone else. But then, surprise, surprise, the “bond vigilantes” showed up like some finance version of the Avengers and basically told Trump, “Take a hike, buddy.”
These vigilantes sold bonds en masse, pushing yields up—getting the government to sweat bullets over borrowing costs. Yardeni even called them “the only 1.000 hitters in history,” which sounds like he’s either a big baseball fan or just really enjoys dramatic hyperbole.
US bond yields jumped so high the 10-year Treasuries hit 4.585% and the 30-year flirted with 5%. That means borrowing money is now as painful as a root canal. And tax cuts? Fuggedaboutit—they’d just make bond yields explode even more.
Trump’s take on this whole bond market drama? Classic Larry David moment:
“The bond market is very tricky. I was watching it.”
Crypto rallies
Meanwhile, Bitcoin is playing hard to get, teasing $95,000 again after a month-long break. And a meme coin named Brett—who just sounds like your neighbor’s overly enthusiastic dog—jumped 95% in a week. Other coins like Virtual Protocol, Official Trump (of course), Sui, and Dogwifhat (no idea what that is, but sounds adorable) have all zoomed over 50%. So the whole crypto market cap? Now $3 trillion. Yep, trillion with a T.
Oh, and those bond vigilantes? They probably scared Trump into giving Jerome Powell a stay of execution at the Federal Reserve. Because, believe it or not, Trump can’t just fire the Fed chair on a whim—there’s some pesky law about that.
If the Supreme Court had let Trump pull that stunt, bonds and the dollar would’ve had a meltdown worse than my last attempt at assembling IKEA furniture.
And despite Trump acting like he’s ready to make friends with China, China’s officially denying any chit-chat. So it’s like a bad reality show—maybe they fix the feud, maybe not.
All this means crypto prices might keep climbing as tariff fears chill out and the Fed starts thinking about cutting rates. So if you’ve got some crypto lying around, maybe give it a little pat. Or don’t. What do I know?
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2025-04-26 19:04