The blockchain, that haziest of modern jungles, has once again birthed a puzzling saga worthy of a particularly dreary lunch at Bellamy’s. According to Lookonchain (no, not a Bond villain but a blockchain sleuth), an avalanche of OM tokens—the kind of modern currency that might, in better days, have bought a modest Tuscan villa or a minor parliamentary seat—was spirited off to those crypto bourses with delightful names like OKX and Binance just before a price collapse so dramatic it nearly made Evelyn Waugh spill his gin.
Reports (delivered on X, the digital watering hole for excitable speculators and the odd incognito peer of the realm) allege that as Mantra’s OM token began its descent—if one can call a nosedive from the Alps a “descent”—no fewer than 17 wallets deposited a staggering 43.6 million OM, a sum approaching $227 million. That’s 4.5% of all OM, or as the Matron at Matchet House might say, “rather a lot for a rainy afternoon.”
Further intrigue comes courtesy of our friends at Arkham (not the sanatorium, sadly, but a blockchain tagging firm), who claim two addresses belong to Laser Digital. Laser, apparently a “strategic investor”—one imagines the monocle and the cigar—was linked to these wallets. Whether strategy extended to competitive downhill sledging of asset value remains, officially, “pure fantasy.”
On Sunday, OM put on a performance that would make a stockbroker weep and short-sellers dance a tarantella: price nosediving from $6.35 to a stately $0.37, market cap plummeting from the celestial $6.11 billion to a mere $683.3 million. One can only imagine the telegrams, the hand-wringing, and the sudden proliferation of “For Sale: Never Used Yacht” advertisements.
Laser Digital, for its part, denied everything with the haughtiness of a Dowager Countess confronted with an unwelcome dinner guest:
“Absolutely unfounded!” they shrieked in a missive notable for its odour of legal consultation. Laser, we are told, definitely did not deposit OM onto OKX; any claim to the contrary is, to put it delicately, balderdash.
Meanwhile, Mantra’s CEO JP Mullin pointed an impeccably manicured finger at the “crypto exchanges,” accusing them of closing substantial positions during the aptly-named “low-liquidity hours.” One is left to wonder if this is code for “everyone’s at the club.”
At present, OM languishes at $0.595, reportedly feeling “a bit delicate” after losing another 32.5%—though that, one suspects, is merely a flesh wound in the world of modern finance. Stay tuned: the last word surely belongs to whoever finds the missing $227 million first. 🕵️♂️💸
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2025-04-15 12:23