Crypto Companies Want In on the Stock Market? Yep, They’re Filing IPOs! 🎉

by

So, apparently, these blockchain bozos-uh, I mean, innovators-are filing confidential IPOs now. Because what’s more normal than revealing your big plans *privately* and making everyone guess? Figure Technology-sounds like a spy movie villain’s name-wants to go public. They’re all about transforming money with blockchain stuff, or whatever. And they filed quietly with the SEC, because why not keep the suspense alive? 🎭

This is happening in 2025, or so they say. Sharers to be decided, price to be decided, but hey, let’s just keep the guessing game going! It’s the new SEC clause-confidential filings. Because who wants transparency when you can keep us all in the dark, right? 📉

Crypto’s IPO Party: No Invitation Needed

More crypto companies are jumping on the public market bandwagon-like they’re late to a party and just found out everyone’s leaving. It’s a weird combo platter of digital and traditional stuff-like peanut butter meeting jelly, but the jelly is blockchain, and it’s all a little sticky.

These firms see IPOs as their golden ticket for more cash. Like Saylor (whoever that is) throwing money around like it’s candy. Figure, for example, is doing all this blockchain-financial-wizardry: lending, tokenizing real-world assets, all on a blockchain that sounds more like a secret society than a finance platform. And wow, they already did $30 billion in transactions-surely that’s a hobby, right? Or maybe just a sign they’re actually making some bucks.

In March, they launched Figure Markets-sounds like a dating app, but no, it’s crypto and securities swapping, because apparently, the “everything exchange” is a thing now. I mean, what could go wrong? 😅

Circle Hits a Big One, Possibly Starting Crypto IPO Season in 2025

Then there’s Circle, the folks behind USDC, the second-most-popular stablecoin. They upsized their IPO to a cool billion-plus bucks-nice work, guys. Basically, they just said, “Hey, Wall Street, we’re not just stabilizing coins-we’re stabilizing the economy!” And wow, a valuation of $6.9 billion-because nothing says “trust us” like a big number, right? 😏

Following that, some other crypto stuff-like Grayscale and Bullish-are also eyeing IPOs. Because, well, when in doubt, just throw your hat in the ring and hope for the best. Maybe next year’s crypto IPO season is the real deal, or just a bunch of guys in hoodies trying to make it in the big leagues. Who knows? 🎯

Magazine: Crypto wanted to topple banks-so now it’s just trying to *be* them with stablecoins. 🤷‍♂️

Read More

2025-08-05 17:50