Crypto Chaos and Congressional Clarity: A Wildean Tale of Bullish Bewilderment

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Markets

Ah, the market-an eternal theater where fortunes are made and lost with the mere flick of a digits, like the butterfly’s kiss that ignites a wildfire. Presenting the latest spectacle: Our dear Bullish, recently bestowed with the noble title of “public,” now floats under the watchful gaze of Compass Point, clutching a modest $45 price tag-such modesty! 🎭

  • Apparently, our dear compass wanders with a “neutral” gaze-neither promising gold nor whispering woe, much like a philosopher at a sandwich stand.
  • The stock struts at a dizzying 110 times its “projected” 2026 EBITDA-an elegant dance of numbers that only the brave or the blind dare to follow, as observed by the philosopher-analyst Ed Engel.
  • And what of the U.S. market? Ah, the great land of dreams and regulatory nightmares! According to Mr. Engel, our brave company shall delay its American debut until the esteemed Congress bestows its blessing-perhaps in 2026, should the stars align and legislation pass, or perhaps never, as legend has it. 🎩

In this Saga

Behold! The enchanting tale of Bullish, a crypto darling that owns CoinDesk and dances to the tune of Wall Street’s whims. Compass Point, in their infinite wisdom, offers a “neutral” nod and a $45 dream-a number lofty enough to scare the cats away but modest enough to tempt the gamblers. 🎰

Our noble analyst, Ed Engel, suggests that Bullish’s charm-its lower fees-might win over Coinbase’s loyal subjects in the land of Uncle Sam. Yet, he warns-like all good tragedians-that the timing is uncertain and valuations are as inflated as a balloon at a birthday party.

“We cannot see Bullish crossing the Atlantic until Congress passes the bestowing of legal clarity-namely, the CLARITY Act,” quoth the sage. This legislation, as mysterious and elusive as the Holy Grail, may not surface until the mythical year 2026.

And heaven and regulators forbid, the infamous BitLicense of New York might prove a formidable gatekeeper. Our hero’s model-acting as its own market maker with a magic potion called AMM-could stir the pot of conflicts, much to the chagrin of cautious regulators. 🧐

But wait! The prophet of profits hints that within 1-2 quarters, a bargain might bloom-like a daisy in a concrete crack-on this 110x multiple metric. 🌸

Meanwhile, Bullish’s treasure chest brims with $2.7 billion in Bitcoin, tying its fate to the volatile rollercoaster that is cryptocurrency-an adventure that would make even Sisyphus exclaim in awe.

Our oracle’s crystal ball predicts a Bitcoin surge to $160,000, with the chance that Bullish’s grand U.S. debut could add an extra $12 per share-a tempting morsel for the daring. 💰

Awkwardly, Bullish’s debut in August saw its share leap from $37 to a peak of $68, before retreating to the current $59.20-a reminder that the market’s affection is as fickle as love itself, quivering by 4.6% on a dull Wednesday.

And thus, the drama unfolds-cryptic legislation, volatile Bitcoin, and dreams of American glory-all in the never-ending ballet of money, power, and legislative whims. Ah, what a splendidly Wildean tale we live in! 😏

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2025-09-03 18:39