Coinbase’s Base Ousts Arbitrum and Sidesteps Vitalik’s Doom List—Is Crypto Salvation at Hand?

Oh, what a marvel! From the cavernous depths of Coinbase’s labyrinth, Base, the Layer-2 blockchain, has performed a somersault worthy of a Moscow circus—vaulting from Stage 0 to Stage 1, deftly shoving Arbitrum (ARB) off its previous Ethereum scaling throne.

The “stages,” mind you, are not Stolichnaya-fueled parties, but rather some meticulous schema hatched by Vitalik Buterin himself, in which Layer-2 rollups are graded as if they were students at a Soviet academy—earnest, trembling, and desperate to avoid expulsion.

The Night Base Dethroned Arbitrum (No Bears Involved)

L2Beat, that all-seeing analytics matryoshka, has blown the whistle: Arbitrum One is yesterday’s borscht. Base, after a sudden $557 million TVL growth spasm, now leads the pack and claims a TVS advantage so wide—$710 million—that even the czars would have squinted in disbelief!

As if donning a fashionable new fur coat, Base now struts about, having shimmied from Stage 0—“fully controlled by its operators,” also known as “we’d rather you didn’t look behind the curtain”—to the dazzling heights of Stage 1, where governance by smart contracts reigns. Of course, there’s still a security council at the ready (think: babushkas with digital brooms), poised to swat any code bugs scurrying across the linoleum. In other words, “limited training wheels,” like teaching your bear to ride a bicycle without letting go completely. 🐻🚲

“Proud that Base is now stage 1 — and #1 by TVS but it’s still day one. Time to bring the world on-chain,” cackled Base creator Jesse Pollak, presumably while swirling tea in a chipped samovar.

This aligns perfectly with Base’s imperial vision: pack the blockchain full of viral cats, rampant creativity, and just the right amount of digital revolutionaries. Viva la L2!

Meanwhile, as the Chekist spotlight swivels onto Base, our plucky hero has wriggled free of Vitalik Buterin’s “rollups doomed to fail” ledger—a list that shames even Dostoyevsky’s rogues. Last September, Buterin hoisted a warning placard: “Advance, or ye shall perish!”

Only rollups at Stage 1+ could be considered for a gilded place in Buterin’s new world order. It all hinges on “decentralization”—the word alone enough to make a bureaucrat spit out his kvass with envy.

“Stage 1 (75% council threshold to override proof systems, 26%+ outsiders) is a very reasonable moderate milestone. Our multisigs haven’t sneezed, coughed, or failed in years, let alone 26%. The era of glorified multisigs is taking the next train to Siberia. Welcome, cryptographic trust!” Buterin expounded, three chess moves ahead as always.

Buterin’s latest master plan for Ethereum’s 2025 renaissance: incentivize Layer-2 harmony with the mother chain—think fee burning, staking, and funding public art (or at least memes).

Let’s not forget: Base hasn’t always been the king of this chessboard. In September, it lunged past $2 billion TVL, climbing 400% and nearly catching up with Arbitrum’s $2.6 billion. Who’s running this rocket? Aerodrome, of course—pilot of the Base L2 blimp, now holding $830 million TVL, up 5% in a week, with sidekicks Morpho, Aave, and Uniswap pulling acrobatic stunts in the background.

And now, with Base as the czar, let us cast a glance backwards at poor Arbitrum, still bandaging its $80 million crash wounds. Recovery efforts so far: token buybacks and a pitiful bid for the Nvidia accelerator, which the universe (and Nvidia) collectively snubbed.

BeInCrypto dares to report: Arbitrum’s ARB price crept up a heroic 2% in 24 hours. At the last count, a measly $0.33 a piece—cheaper than a Moscow metro ride, but arguably less thrilling.

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2025-05-01 12:01