Coinbase Chaos: DOJ Probes Crypto Breach – Who’s Bribing Whom? 😂💸

So, apparently, the U.S. Justice Department decided to pick a fight with Coinbase. Because, why not? They’re *really* into poking around crypto exchanges these days. Bloomberg’s got the scoop—no one’s surprised, right? “Hey, let’s dive into some cybersecurity mess, that’ll be fun!”

So, these *brilliant* intruders—think James Bond but without the charm—they corrupted customer support staff and third-party contractors in India. Genius move, really. Now they’ve got access to all the sensitive info because, apparently, security at Coinbase is just as tight as a plastic bag in a rainstorm. Then, shocker, they send a $20 million extortion letter. Wow. That’s some *creative* way to make a living. On May 11, Coinbase admits, “Yep, got an anonymous ransom email, and, sure, we’re working with the DOJ—big surprise.” Paul Grewal, Coinbase’s legal boss, says they’re all in—like a bad poker game—you know, hoping the law actually does something. Meanwhile, the DOJ? Crickets. Just sitting there, probably wondering why they’re even involved in this mess.

Look, it’s not like Coinbase invited this mess. Well… maybe. Or maybe it’s just another day in crypto land—where you trust random hackers over your own support team. Oh, what a world. Anyway, stay tuned, because this story’s just getting started. Or not. It’s crypto, folks. What could possibly go wrong? 😂

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2025-05-20 00:27