So, Coinbase, the big shot US-based exchange, decided to file for a National Trust Charter (NTC) with the OCC. 🏦🤦♂️ Because, you know, what’s better than crypto? Crypto trying to be a bank. Or not. They’re not sure. Classic.
In their October 3 announcement, Coinbase called the NTC a “natural extension” of their custody business. 🥱 Sure, because what’s more natural than holding billions in assets and then saying, “Hey, let’s do banking too!” Genius. Or chaos. Potato, potahto.
Why Coinbase Wants to Play Banker (But Swears It’s Not)
Apparently, this charter lets them do payments and other trust-based services. 🎉 Because who doesn’t love more financial jargon? “Regulatory clarity,” they say. Yeah, right. Next thing you know, they’ll be selling mortgages and asking for bailouts. 🙄
“If approved, we can launch new products with the confidence of regulatory clarity, fostering broader institutional adoption.” – Coinbase, probably while wearing a suit and pretending to care about institutions. 🕴️
Paul Grewal, their Chief Legal Officer, says this is about growth and consistency. 🌱✨ Sure, Paul, or maybe it’s because you want to be the cool kid at the banking table. No judgment, just saying.
“State-level charters were great, but now crypto’s big time. We need federal-level clarity.” – Paul, probably while sipping a latte and dreaming of Wall Street. ☕💼
Oh, and federal recognition means more protections for customers. 🛡️ Because nothing says “we care” like more red tape. Meanwhile, Coinbase insists they’re not a bank. Right. Just like I’m not eating this entire pizza. 🍕🤥
Other crypto firms like Circle and Ripple are also jumping on this bandwagon. 🚂 Because if one company does it, everyone does it. It’s like FOMO but with regulatory compliance. Yawn.
Regulators are warming up to blockchain, they say. 🌡️🤝 Great, so now we’ll have blockchain-based bureaucracy. Can’t wait.
Coinbase vs. Big Banks: The Drama We Didn’t Ask For
Coinbase claims they’re not trying to be a bank, but they’re also calling out big banks for attacking crypto. 🏦⚔️ Their Stand With Crypto campaign is basically, “Hey, banks, stop being jerks.” Bold strategy, let’s see if it pays off.
“Big banks want another bailout by attacking crypto. They don’t want you to earn rewards on stablecoins. Competition = better options. If you wouldn’t ban credit card rewards, don’t ban crypto rewards.” – Coinbase, probably while side-eyeing JPMorgan. 👀💸
Banking associations are like, “Whoa, slow down, stablecoins are risky!” 🚨 Meanwhile, crypto advocates are like, “No, you’re just scared of competition.” 🦸♂️🦹♀️ Brian Armstrong calls it “hypocrisy” and tells banks to build better products. Burn. 🔥
“Banks are mad they’re losing. They don’t need another bailout, they need better products.” – Brian Armstrong, dropping truth bombs like it’s hot. 💣🔥
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2025-10-04 13:57