Now, hold yer horses! On this fine day of October 14, 2025, Circle-ye olde USDC minters-decided to play sheriff and freeze four EVM addresses. A noble endeavor, one might think, if the villain wasn’t a thief who’d already swiped Ethereum from Coinbase and left town on a donkey. The tale? A recent heist where digital gold was siphoned, and our intrepid heroes at Circle thought, “Why not freeze the trail? It’s just a few addresses!”
Circle, in a fit of preemptive panic, locked four EVM wallets.
Whispers ‘round the blockchain saloon suggest these funds sprang from a Coinbase caper, where a rogue picked pockets with the finesse of a pickpocket at a parade.
– Bitrace (@Bitrace_team) October 14, 2025
ZachXBT, that grumpy old cobbler of blockchain sleuthing, took to X to scoff: “Only a man with the imagination of a wet blanket would call this a ‘useful’ freeze!” He pointed out the addresses were stuffed with DAI, not USDC. A thief could swap it like a jaybird trading acorns, then vanish into the digital woods. “Circle’s a locksmith who forgot the key,” he muttered, while sipping coffee like it was moonshine.
MistTrack.io, bless their graph paper heart, mapped the coin’s journey like a treasure hunt for a pirate with a map written in hieroglyphics. Blue and red lines danced across the screen, tracing the heist’s trail. “It’s a circus,” they said, “and the lion tamer’s got a cold.”
Back in May 2025, Coinbase had a “little” mishap. Hackers, aided by customer support agents with the morals of a used car salesman, plundered 69,000 souls. They sent phishing emails so slick, even a grizzled codger might’ve clicked “Yes, I want a free NFT!”
A crook swapped 5M DAI for USDC, then parked it for 35 minutes-just long enough for Circle’s manual review process to yawn, stretch, and say, “I’ll get to it… next Tuesday.”
– Scam Recovery & Refund (@scamrefundme) October 4, 2025
Coinbase, in their wisdom, refused a $20M ransom but offered bounties like a beggar at a feast. “Find the funds, and we’ll give you less than a slice of pizza,” they said. Meanwhile, the thief bridged funds via Circle’s own Cross-Chain Transfer Protocol-a fox guarding a henhouse with a “Welcome!” sign.
And thus, the tale concludes: a freeze that chilled nothing but egos, a thief who outwitted the system, and a blockchain that hums along, indifferent to our mortal squabbles. All’s well that ends… well, not really. But hey, at least we’ve got emojis! 😂
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2025-10-14 21:30