Cryptonews

Now, folks are scratchin’ their heads. Why’s he holdin’ onto all that dough? And why’s he still turnin’ his nose up at Bitcoin, that fancy digital gold that all the kids are talkin’ about? 🤔

Ah, Trump’s 90-day “relaxation” on tariffs! Finally, a moment of peace in this whirlwind. Investors, once burdened by the ominous weight of uncertainty, are now celebrating like they’ve discovered the fountain of youth. The crypto market has had a good old jump, and with Bitcoin once again flexing its muscles, trading at a spectacular $82.1k with a cheeky 7% surge in the last 24 hours, things are looking up for MicroStrategy.

Now, here’s the part where the plot thickens, my dear friend. Deaton, the man of unwavering belief, dares to suggest that the gap between XRP and Ethereum—oh yes, that revered behemoth of the blockchain world—is smaller than one might think. Can it be true? Is the mighty Ethereum truly trembling at the rise of XRP? It’s not just a matter of numbers, but of something far more visceral—momentum, like a rolling stone gathering moss, or perhaps more fittingly, like a gambler doubling down at the roulette table. You see, there was the launch of the 2x XRP ETF (XXRP), a most peculiar thing, but one that made quite a stir. In its first day of trading, it raked in a modest $5 million—a sum that would make a mere mortal weep. Yet, for the uninitiated, this might seem unremarkable. But for Deaton and his loyal XRP brethren, this is no small feat. No, this places the ETF in the top 5% of all ETF launches, outshining the 2x Solana ETF (SOLT) by a margin so great that even a blind man could see it.

Whispers swirl that TRUMP could scamper upward by an astounding 138% should it tiptoe beyond the lofty $11.96 threshold. In the gloom of the crypto stage, a sturdy safety cushion stands guard at $7.13, ready to catch any tumbling dreams. 💥

The so-called rally was ignited by none other than President Trump, who dropped the bombshell of a 90-day tariff truce. Social media went wild, painting fantasies of a never-ending bull run in both stocks and crypto. Yet, analysts at Goldman Sachs, the cautious sages of Wall Street, warn that those thrilling multiweek, double-digit equity rallies are hardly a rarity in the shadowy realm of bear markets.

Imagine, if you will, treating a rare Pokémon card the same way you would a corporate bond. Absurd, right? That’s exactly what OpenSea fears could happen if NFTs are shackled by the heavy hand of traditional financial regulation. They warn that doing so would be like asking a painter to follow the strict, stifling rules of accounting while creating their masterpiece. Innovation, creativity, and the boundless freedom of Web3 would be left gasping for air in such a confined box. But OpenSea, ever the champion of the digital realm, doesn’t want to put the brakes on progress. No, they wish for *clear, distinct* rules—crafted carefully, like a delicate piece of art—so that this flourishing sector can grow without the threat of its potential being smothered. A world where technology thrives, but without choking on red tape. How terribly reasonable… or is it? 🧐💭

What’s going on? Well, it seems traders and investors are either losing interest, confidence, or both. Falling prices tend to do that. It’s like watching your favorite rollercoaster break down mid-ride—suddenly, everyone’s too scared to get back on. And so begins the vicious cycle: less trading, lower prices, and even less trading. Rinse and repeat. 🔄

It had been four long months since Musk last invoked the spirit of Kekius Maximus, and his return was met with the kind of fervor usually reserved for a rockstar’s encore. The tweet, posted on a seemingly uneventful Wednesday night, coincided with a notable surge in the price of the PEPE meme coin. Coincidence? Perhaps. Or perhaps Musk has once again proven his uncanny ability to move markets with a single keystroke. 🎯

The whole market, that grand bazaar of digital trinkets, did feel the lift, swelling by seven percent to reach a total value of two trillion and six hundred billion! Bitcoin and Ethereum, those elder statesmen of the crypto-realm, did also post gains, thus setting off a ripple effect that did aid Litecoin in its audacious surge. Such fortune!

While the Official Trump (TRUMP) memecoin is lounging in its billion-dollar market cap, MELANIA is scraping the bottom of the crypto barrel with an FDV of about $515 million and a trading volume that’s more “meh” than “wow.” 💸