Cryptonews

Mr. Ardoino was asked, with all the subtlety of a bulldozer at a garden party: “How much of Tether’s future depends on the coiffured one remaining at the helm?” Paul, rather like a man explaining the appeal of gin to a teetotaler, replied that it’s all down to the indomitable U.S. dollar—a product he calls America’s “finest” export (presumably second only to reality television and fast food innovation).

This pair is now debuting a leveraged-yield spectacle, centering around the Apollo Diversified Credit Securitize Fund, dubbed “ACRED,” which has the air of a debutante—elegant, mysterious, and perhaps one day broke. It’s a feeder fund with stakes in Apollo’s $1 billion Diversified Credit Fund, and its new playground will be Compound Blue on Morpho, for those who like their jargon without cream or sugar.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Who’s this analyst, and why should I care about their predictions?” Well, meet Egrag Crypto, who’s been banging the drum about XRP’s potential for months. And, spoiler alert, they were right about that insane 2024 rally—like a psychic who doesn’t even need a crystal ball. Sure, the hype has cooled a little since then, but not for Egrag. Nope, they’re still riding that wave of optimism, convinced XRP is headed for glory. Double digits, folks! It’s happening. Maybe.

This new blockchain, rumoured to be as swift as a golden ticket winner on chocolate day, will be friends with Ethereum’s Virtual Machine (EVM)—which really means it can play nicely with the cool crowd. They brag it’ll be all bells, whistles, zippy performance, and, gulp, “future features,” which makes you wonder if it’ll soon sprout arms and score a hat-trick all on its own. ⚽🤖

When the U.S. spot Bitcoin ETFs erupted onto the market in January 2024, everyone expected wirehouses (which, if you don’t know, are not trendy coffee shops, but rather stodgy financial fortresses) to welcome them with trembling, excited arms. The Bitwise CIO, one Matt Hougan, boldly declared the platforms would do so by mid-2024. We’re past mid-2024 now, the wires are still in their houses, and somewhere a Bitcoin ETF is sitting in the waiting room reading a decade-old issue of “Fortune” magazine, sighing dramatically.

A whale with $147M assets withdrew 1.5T $PEPE($13.3M) from #Binance 8 hours ago.

On the fiery stage, Raoul Pal—RealVision’s co-founder, one-time financial wizard, and now interrogator of crypto potentates—rose with gravitas befitting Pontius Pilate and asked, “CZ, how do you bare your innermost secrets to such a hydra-headed horde of regulators?”

So, in a matter of hours, the price of ALPACA crashed to $0.50, erasing nearly all the recent gains, only to rebound to $0.70 like a cat that just refuses to die (metaphorically speaking). According to data from Binance—because who else could be the source of such glorious volatility?—this little drama all went down in record time. 🐱💸

A proclamation from CoinGecko—yes, that oracle of the crypto bazaar—declares that 52.7% of all cryptocurrencies announced on the fabled GeckoTerminal have vanished! What a spectacle! The majority have absconded in the last twelve months, leaving investors clutching the air and declaiming, “Vive la volatilité!”

A proclamation from CoinGecko—yes, that oracle of the crypto bazaar—declares that 52.7% of all cryptocurrencies announced on the fabled GeckoTerminal have vanished! What a spectacle! The majority have absconded in the last twelve months, leaving investors clutching the air and declaiming, “Vive la volatilité!”