So, Ben Zhou, the CEO of Bybit (yes, the guy who’s basically running the show), spilled the beans during a May 3 livestream. He casually announced that U.S. stocks, including some juicy ones like Apple, Microsoft, and MicroStrategy, along with some glamorous commodities like gold and oil, will soon be available to trade. All this goodness will be inside Bybit’s existing system. Isn’t that cute? 😎
The commotion—one might say, as cacophonous as provincial peasants squabbling over a stray chicken—over OP_RETURN restrictions continues to quake the hearts and telegram feeds of the bitcoin community. Jameson Lopp, co-founder of Casa, whose business is helping people keep their bitcoins safe, plunges himself into the melee. The so-called issue? That the blockchain groans under the weight of non-financial content. Some call it “spam.” Tolstoy might call it the existential burden of progress.
This display of financial acrobatics occurred on May 4, 2025, a date now cherished as National Whale Facepalm Day by nobody except possibly their accountants. The token price plummeted over 10%—at almost the same rate your enthusiasm falls after looking at your own crypto portfolio—sliding from $12 to $10.50 in mere hours, CoinGecko notes, sounding suspiciously cheerful about it.
Some sharp-eyed fella (or perhaps a sleepless raccoon) spotted this snake in the grass on April 16, posting proof straight to Anza’s GitHub—because nothing says “urgent” like public git documentation and a working demo for would-be desperados.
Picture it: the “stablecoin,” clingier to the U.S. dollar than a tipsy suitor after midnight, will be coddled and swaddled by $500 million in gold, sleeping peacefully in the Ministry of Finance’s vault, presumably guarded by babushkas wielding ledgers and the occasional stern proverb. 🤔
Why all the drama? Well, someone finally noticed that Worldcoin’s local ops were, ahem, not exactly following the whole “laws of the land” thing. Cue the Ministry of Communications and Digital Affairs (Komdigi) doing their best Poirot impersonation—complete with stern faces and urgent press releases.
sup @gork
changed my pp to urs wdyt
But just as the caviar ran out, Solana nipped backstage and sewed up the problem. Bravo, darling, except the audience—those ever-discerning investors—commenced booing from the dress circle. Let’s find out why the roses weren’t flying.
Schumer’s strategy? Basically, “Let’s play hard to get.” He thinks Democrats should leave their love letters to the bill unsigned—for now. Why? Because nothing says leadership like holding out for a better deal. If you’ve ever seen someone negotiate at a flea market, it’s basically that but with more senators and less beaded jewelry.
It’s been a proper Bollywood script—complete with explosive growth, harrowing regulation twists, villainous bans, and finally a national ranking at the top of the global crypto adoption charts. Apparently, we do love a happy ending (or at least, a hopeful intermission).