Cryptonews

Enter Pumpius, a crypto analyst with a flair for the dramatic, who’s now convinced that the $2.21 XRP price tag is an absolute steal. He insists that this figure is still criminally undervalued. How, you ask? Well, let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? Back in the halcyon days of 2017, XRP catapulted from a humble $0.005 to a jaw-dropping $3.84 – a price surge that had everyone wondering if the cryptocurrency gods had lost their minds. At one point, XRP even dared to overtake Ethereum’s market cap, securing a brief reign as the world’s second-largest cryptocurrency, right behind Bitcoin. The audacity! 💸

So, what is this, you ask? Just a minor expansion designed to sprinkle your trading life with a dusting of new possibilities, with Binance’s Trading Bots (the obedient little algorithmic minions) now poised to serve these new ENJ/USDC and VIRTUAL/TRY pairs. One wonders—do bots dream of digital sheep? 🤖🛏️

But hold on, things might just be turning around. I know, I know, you’ve heard that before, but there’s actually a glimmer of hope here. Technical indicators are starting to hint at a potential PI comeback. Could it be? 🤔

But 2025, my friends, has been a different beast entirely. Initially, Bitcoin surged a modest 9.54%, like a kid finding his first bike, then promptly plummeted in February and March—down 17.5% and 2.19% respectively. But wait, don’t lose hope! April brought a glimmer of optimism, with a tiny rebound of 14.2%. Now, in May, Bitcoin has risen a whopping 0.38%. You know, just a casual Monday morning gain.

The plan? Simple as soup, wild as a dancing goat. Kyrgyzstan, that pearl of Central Asia, would leapfrog into the “future” by stuffing its treasury with cryptocurrencies, as if they were golden apples plucked from a digital tree. Economists blinked. Some laughed. The cows remained silent (as usual).

And behold, with this grand unveiling, comes a wallet! Yes, another wallet. But not just any wallet—a new wallet, with setup instructions that are, thankfully, tucked away in the comforting embrace of docs.iota.org/about-iota/iot… (because who doesn’t love navigating dense documentation?). This “rebase” isn’t just a rebranding, oh no, it’s a complete overhaul of the IOTA network’s very architecture. A brave new world awaits!

Appearing on NBC’s Meet the Press—journalistic theater at its finest—Trump thundered: “I want crypto. It’s important, it’s popular, and it’s hot.” Rarely has a financial instrument sounded so much like a Palm Beach nightclub.

Prepare yourself: according to the relentlessly cheerful analysts at Cheeky Crypto, but a paltry 1 to 2 million souls out of a swollen multitude—eight billion humans, not counting the ones still looking for the bathroom—dare to keep XRP in their digital pockets. Imagine a world where the odds of owning XRP are akin to winning at Russian roulette, but the gun is empty and your only prize is awkward small talk at blockchain meetups.

Bitcoin’s heroic attempt to conquer the $98,000 resistance was thwarted by profit-taking. Oh, the tragedy!

Put a big red, shaky circle around May 5th. That’s the deadline when the SEC will grace us with its decision, or gift us another delay, which is kind of like a surprise birthday party where everyone just goes home and forgets you exist for another month.