Cryptonews

Remember the good old days? That never-ending hamster wheel where whales, miners, and your neighbor who “knows a guy” all took their turns pumping and dumping? Well, Ju basically says you can frame those strategies and hang them next to your Blockbuster card. The market’s become less “Mean Girls” and more “Succession”—enter ETFs in dramatic slow motion, corporate wallets the size of MicroStrategy’s ego, and TradFi types who only just figured out memes.

Apparently, an oddball cast of characters—think governments with briefcases, legal eagles with magnifying glasses, and bankruptcy wizards twirling their moustaches—once sat on a dragon’s pile of Bitcoin. Did they cherish their shiny coins? Ha! Not for a second! Whenever the price shot up, they’d fling the stuff on the market faster than Augustus Gloop diving into a chocolate river.

If you thought this was just a bunch of Moscow magicians gambling away their roubles, think again. Behind the curtain, powerful institutions and entire nations are now adding Bitcoin to their treasure troves. The age of paper rubles—pardon me, dollars—may soon be as quaint as a Moscow tram ticket.

Observe: Dogecoin (DOGE), usually content to nap in the sunbeam of mediocrity, now sprints in vertical defiance—nearly $10 billion added to its market cap in forty-eight short hours, just because the crowd suddenly decided to bark “risk-on!”

Bitcoin’s hovering around $103,668, just teasing that $106K resistance level. Will it break out? Who knows! Martinez says if it does, $115,000 is on the table. Okay, but last week, my aunt said the Knicks “might” win the title. Everybody’s got predictions. Everybody.

Mislav Matejka, the so-called oracle of global and European equity strategy at JPMorgan, points out that investors seem to be overly optimistic about US equities, even as recession risks soar and trade tensions hover like an uninvited guest at a dinner party. Reports from Investing.com confirm this rather uncomfortable fact.

Today, fueled either by pure civic-mindedness or perhaps just the aftereffects of a strong cup of tea, the SHIB burn rate has shot skyward like a butler who’s just spotted a spider, leaping a rather tidy 6,858.37% (one can only assume the decimal points were added for dramatic effect). The hapless victim count: a robust 18,902,967 SHIB, bravely sacrificed for the communal good.

This frenzied cash stampede reveals that both cool-headed institutions and hot-blooded retail investors are still falling head over e-wallet for Bitcoin. All of this, mind you, while the global economy stumbles around like someone who’s just heard about gluten. The hunger for crypto risk is apparently gluten-free, dairy-free, and still very much on the menu.

Upon the bartered scroll (that is, a chart), one beholds the trembling trajectory of BTC’s price, now soaring over $103K, like a roulette wheel in a Moscow ball. Yet, retail demand—those green and red bars—remains as still as Levin in contemplation. Eyebrows arch higher than Bitcoin itself; where is the old peasant crowd, shoveling in their savings? Have they traded their memes for Dostoyevsky novels?

Some scholarly city folk at Santiment, them analytics types always scribblin’ numbers like Mark Twain scribbles tales, say the crypto carnival’s got a whole mess o’ green candles this weekend. Meme coins, staking “thingamajigs,” and those Layer-1 doodads are pitching a tent revival, each trying to out-peacock the other with double-digit jigs in market capitalization. Why, the meme coin circus alone shot up 18%, putting PEPE right at the top like a frog prince with a crown made of dollar bills.🐸💰