Cryptonews

Anyway, the BOK, painfully aware that South Korea might let stablecoins (that’s cryptocurrency pegged to the Korean won, not the stuff you win at the arcade) run wild, has demanded that it should have first dibs on approving, disapproving or at least grumbling loudly about any of these coins. The reason? Apparently, if people start swapping stablecoins like they’re Monopoly money, it could throw a spanner into the delicate works of monetary policy. And heaven knows, central bankers love their policy levers just as they are. 🏦

The ledger tells its tale, cold as Siberian frost. In the grey year of 2025, the bureaucrats at “Strategy”—as if mocking with their name—threw $1.34 billion down the ever-hungry maw of Bitcoin. For this, they received precisely 13,390 coins, each purchased at the delirious sum of $99,856. One wonders: is this fiscal heroism, or just … Read more

In the past 24 hours, Pi Coin has made a rather dramatic leap—no less than 60.78%! A most extraordinary feat! It started in humble surroundings, below a dollar, and ascended to a splendid height of $1.5959. Alas, as is the way of the world, it retreated somewhat, now resting at a refined $1.55. One cannot help but admire the sharp vertical rise on the 4-hour chart, resembling the swift, graceful step of a dancer—green candles flickering brightly and volume growing ever stronger. How could one not be tempted to partake in such a performance?

While April was to stock markets what a cold shower is to an excitable Pomeranian—drawdowns everywhere—Bitcoin merely dusted off its cuffs and outperformed the lot, especially as tariffs began sashaying in. The resilience of our digital hero led some to suspect Bitcoin is now the secret passageway for countries wishing to nip around trade barriers, much like Uncle Percival sneaking another slice of cake during Lent. 🍰

In this thrilling ride, we’ll examine the most coveted airdrops, each backed by powerful investors and designed to lure you in with more than just empty buzzwords.

Legal eagle Bill Morgan, longtime XRP fan and budding market hype-man, decided to take a break from shouting “Objection!” at everything to share a rather smug update. Evidence: his latest “I told you so” in screenshot form. Apparently, XRP/USDT shot up by nearly 10% over the last week. Bitcoin, meanwhile, is crying into its blockchain pillow, and Ethereum’s looking for a therapist.

Hoskinson, lookin’ as pleased as a cat with a bowl of cream, claims that Cardano mixes Bitcoin’s ironclad vault with Ethereum’s fancy smart-aleck contracts. You get yourself something as limber as a snake and as tough as a boiled owl, apparently. With contraptions like UTXO for security (whatever that means to us river folk) and Hydra for “scalability”—I assume that means it grows like government debt—Cardano wants to become the Defi sheriff in the Bitcoin county. 🤠

Why does Bitcoin rise? Some say the answer lies in the shadowy maneuverings of vast, faceless institutions, those Goliaths who now hoard crypto as if stuffing cash into mattresses during a Moscow winter. Behold, they call it the crypto strategic reserve, as if giving a grandiloquent name to hoarding lent it nobility. Institutional faith flows in, and with it, the timid masses follow, like Dostoevsky characters drawn to a tavern at dusk. Perhaps the mysterious halving of 2024 will further stir the pot, reducing Bitcoin’s supply and making each Satoshi as rare as a moment of self-restraint at a roulette table.

“This license underscores our commitment to the highest standards of security, transparency, and trust,” declared Harald Patt, the managing director—who, I am assured, wears only the finest armor when crossing the regulatory minefields of Europe. Perhaps he keeps a garlic clove handy for the vampires of bureaucracy, just in case.

He took to X (which, yes, is what we’re calling Twitter now, and no, I’m not OK with it), informing his 422,200 loyal followers—roughly the population of a mid-size city or the number of bras I’ve lost to the laundry abyss—that Saylor’s squad is scarfing up BTC much faster than miners can spit it out. Move over miners, you’ve been replaced by a corporate Pac-Man.🪙👾