Cryptonews

Once hailed as pioneers, swathes of funds flowed into the enticing allure of Bitcoin ETFs—those digital castles in the sky—only for the Wisconsonians to suddenly have a change of heart a mere year after their flirtation. The question remains: why bid farewell to such a hefty fortune? Perhaps disappointment at Bitcoin’s refusal to turn into digital gold or simply a desire to diversify their portfolio of questionable investment decisions.

Bitfinex margin longs have taken a nosedive of 18%, despite Bitcoin’s 24% dance in the last month. Maybe they’re just tired? Or trying to look cool by pretending to be cautious.

For over a week now, Bitcoin’s been playing a game of ‘don’t look, don’t look,’ wedged snugly between the lofty peak of $105,000 and the humble valley of $100,700. It’s a proper little Yorkshire pudding of a price—fluffy and rising, then deflating—without any real movement. The traders are like a bunch of nervous Nellies, eyeballing one another, waiting for the big bang that might turn this snooze fest into a fireworks display. And, dear reader, if history’s anything to go by, such tense moments are often preludes to the sort of dramatic upheaval that makes the Queen’s Head look like a bank vault. 🍸

Following their masterstroke of financial genius on May 16, the Singapore-based healthcare giant announced it was “in advanced discussions” (which in corporate speak basically means they’re making it up as they go) with a merry band of investors and wealthy individuals eager to swap shares for a shiny, digital future. All in the hope of building “one of the strongest balance sheets among Asia-focused healthcare providers” — a phrase that sounds suspiciously like a euphemism for financial wizardry involving unsolvable puzzles and very expensive magic tricks.

According to the wise folk at World Liberty, Chainlink co-founder Sergey Nazarov, and Eric Trump—son of the President—the token’s newfound freedom was revealed at Consensus 2025, a meeting where all things crypto and perhaps a little bit of chaos collide.

Some have drawn parallels between the current event and World Liberty’s alleged ETH sale, which occurred when the price hit its lowest point over a three-month span. However, despite today’s transaction appearing peculiar, no proof of wrongdoing or insider trading has been presented as of yet.

On the social media jungles, a chorus of claims roared: Ukraine intends to amass a colossal cryptocurrency hoard — or so they say. Incrypted, that digital gossip box, cited Yaroslav Zhelezniak—Deputy Chairman of some Finance Club—who barely spilled the beans, murmuring:

May 14, it was—spring in the air and maybe hope in the coffers—when the Pi Foundation stood up and hollered about Pi Network Ventures. The plan? Drop $100 million into the pot. But not just any pot. Half Pi (that crypto coin), half real old-fashioned green. The goal? Any lost soul building atop Pi Network’s strange soil, or those with a mind to contribute to the greater Pi ranch.

The Sherlock Holmes team over at LookonChain says some mysterious trader—definitely not your cousin who refused to Venmo you $8—turned $8,191 into $4 million. It took this person a mere 22 days. Because apparently, “get rich quick” isn’t just a scam on daytime TV now; it’s real, and you missed it. Sorry, Nana. 🤷‍♀️

Behold! P2P.org graces the IOTA network as a Genesis Validator for the freshly launched IOTA Rebased mainnet. 🧐