Our favorite Wall Street crypto cowboy, Mike Novogratz, couldn’t contain his excitement. In true Novogratz fashion, he hopped onto X (formerly Twitter) to announce the glorious news that $GLXY is now live. A standing ovation for this monumental moment in the crypto world!
“The Core Team sold tens of millions, if not hundreds of millions, of Pi at the very zenith—oh, the art of illusion! While the community gawked at announcements and pretended progress, our crypto alchemists discreetly cashed in,” tweets the wise prophet of market treachery. 🎩✨
Meanwhile, RIZE is powering up Rizenet—think of it as a futuristic Frankenstein of tokenized assets, decentralized AI, and enough DeFi to make a banker blush. And then there’s DOOD, the NFT-derived token from the beloved (or mockingly revered) Doodles collection, hopping on the NFT-token-railway after APE and PENGU decided to double down on digital doodles.
A mere week after its ignominious defeat in the US Senate, Senator John Thune—bless his persistent soul—has resurrected the amended Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for US Stablecoins (GENIUS) Act. A name so grand, it could only be conceived in the hallowed halls of bureaucracy! 🏛️ This act, apparently, is now primed for a second cloture motion, a parliamentary maneuver as thrilling as watching paint dry. Bipartisan efforts, they say, have breathed new life into this legislative beast. But will it rise from the ashes, or simply collapse in a heap of regulatory rubble? 🤔
In both cases, rapid price crashes revealed hidden actors, questionable token unlocks, and alleged side agreements that blinded market participants, with OM falling more than 90% within hours late April on no apparent catalyst. A spectacle of ruin, worthy of a Chekhov play, only with more rubles at stake. 💸
ETFs made it super easy for big money to get their hands on Bitcoin (BTC) and Ethereum (ETH) without having to juggle private keys or risk getting hacked by crypto nerds in pajamas. But here’s the thing: They only track the price. So when crypto gets bored and starts sitting still—like that one friend who’s moved to a new city and won’t answer your texts—they stall. Basically, ETFs are like trying to win a race with a scooter—cute but kinda pointless when you want a Ferrari. 🚗💨
Key Highlights:
The analyst guy claimed the Pi Core Team used the community—dubbed “Pioneers”—like free advertising snacks at a party, only to leave once the money was in the safe. And surprise! All Pi coins were pre-mined. No fuss, no muss. Most of it is held by the team—89%, to be exact—so you can imagine what might happen if they decide to play hot potato with the tokens. It’s giving “Terra Luna deja vu,” and nobody needs that nightmare again.
According to Kiwi police—who, let’s be honest, probably spend half their day trying to figure out how social media works—this guy and his cronies allegedly manipulated seven people into handing over crypto like it was the latest TikTok trend. The FBI, like the nosy neighbor who can’t ignore a suspicious noise, got involved and now he’s facing charges of racketeering, conspiracy, and potentially having a bit too much fun with stolen funds.
At the moment, you can get a Pi for the paltry sum of $0.68 — which just so happens to be over 62% less than its May high of $1.50. Yep, that’s a loss for anyone who thought this was the gold rush of the century. Experts are whispering that it could drop even lower, possibly to the $0.40 mark that was last seen in April — because nothing says stability like a coin caught in a storm of uncertainty. ☔️
