Cryptonews

Krishna Rao, the so-called chief financial officer—what a title!—publicly announced this marvellous feat on LinkedIn, as if to shout, “Look at us, we’re so important!” This new credit—an almost laughable testament to fiscal confidence—further thickens the plot, allowing these puppet-masters to dance wildly on the strings of exponential growth, all while whispering sweet nothings about “responsible AI development.” Because, naturally, who would want irresponsible AI? That might spoil their fun.

Alas, miners face slightly steeper odds in their relentless quest—this adjustment makes solving those elusive blocks 2.13% more arduous. The current difficulty—a lofty 121.66 trillion—is just shy of the record set after block 893,088. Perhaps the network is playing a bit of hide-and-seek with miners, or just mocking their efforts with ever-increasing numbers.

Pakistan’s latest scheme? Turning into the crypto capital of the world, with some help from Uncle Sam’s favorite son’s friends and a Pakistani general who apparently plays all sides. The goal? Making Pakistan a blockchain paradise so everyone’s assets can be tokenized faster than you can say “digital dollar.” Because nothing says ‘financial inclusion’ like secret meetings and mysterious agreements. 🕵️‍♂️💥

После недель бездействия, как будто у них затмение для монет, вдруг — БАБАХ! Выросло значение сжигания токенов на целых 106000%, словно кто-то решил разыграть спектакль с фейерверками. Данных из Shibburn: более 15.3 миллионов SHIB исчезли, пропали так же быстро, как и надежда на быстрый рост цены. Даже при этом, цена всё равно осталась в тихом унынии, будто натянутый концерт по заявкам — всё громче и тише одновременно.

And let’s not forget, Santiment’s Network Realized Profit/Loss (NPL) metric shows that $835 million worth of ETH was moved on May 15 alone. That’s the biggest profit realization since April when Ethereum nosedived to $1,385. Talk about déjà vu!

Le grand Moody’s, ce conseiller du roi financier, a décidé de jouer à la tragédie en abaissant la note des États-Unis, de Aaa à Aa1! Ah! quelle ironie! La raison? La situation fiscale se dégrade plus vite que les pantalons de Monsieur Scapin après un festin. La créance nationale, cette dette béante, dépasse désormais les 36.8 trillions, une somme qui ferait rougir même Molière lui-même! Medicare, Medicaid, et autres dépenses publiques tournent à la farce. Eh bien, même si Monsieur Musk tente de faire couper dans le vif par ses dépenses publiques, il paraîtrait que le déficit reste aussi grand que l’orgueil d’un prétentieux. En somme, l’Amérique accumule ses dettes comme un comédien accumule ses entrées et ses sorties—sans fin! 🎭💸

This license, which one gathers is frightfully important, combined with something called the European Passport (sounds terribly adventurous, doesn’t it?), will permit Bitstamp to, and I quote, “operate its trading platform, execute client orders, and provide crypto custody services across the European Economic Area.” One can only imagine the champagne corks popping. 🍾

Yes, the U.S.’s biggest cryptocurrency exchange has taken a tumble into the digital mud puddle. Someone, somewhere, managed to snatch a peek at some very important (and very glamorous) user info, turning privacy into a kind of open-idea day. This breach managed to highlight the slightly terrifying reality that even the most impenetrable-looking digital fortresses can sometimes be opened with a smile and a bribe.

Meanwhile, on the shiny surface, the outflow gods are busy—an outflow of $540 million worth of ETH while USDT—those reliable stablecoins—poured in to the tune of $398 million. It’s the kind of financial ballet that makes you wonder: Are the whales exiting stage left, or are they just being dramatic for the cameras? Either way, it’s chaos masked as strategy, and we’re all invited to the show. 🎭

Behold, Bitcoin (BTC), that lord of digital coin, hath stumbled from its lofty perch of $105,000 to a paltry $103,000! And amongst the fallen, we find Pi Network (PI), Bonk (BONK), Floki (FLOKI), and Pudgy Penguins (PENGU), all humbled by a precipitous drop of over 10%. Alas, poor Penguins! 🐧