Sponsored by the ever-optimistic Assemblymember Clyde Vanel, this bill suggests that agencies could soon be taking Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), Litecoin (LTC), and even Bitcoin Cash for all sorts of delightful obligations like fines, taxes, and rent. Imagine paying your parking ticket with a digital coin that fluctuates more than a cat on a hot tin roof! 🐱👤
Ah, dear connoisseurs of extravagance and irony, we find ourselves at the precipice of a most curious spectacle. The illustrious former commander of capitalist dalliances, Donald Trump, prepares to unveil his official memecoin—a glittering token destined to cascade in a sumptuous shower of $321 million on the 18th of April. 🍸
But fear not, dear readers. There’s a merry band of analysts who believe that everyone being in the dumps might actually mean a stellar comeback is just around the corner. Santiment, a market intelligence platform, insists that when everyone’s gloomier than a Monday morning, prices have a habit of sneaking in the opposite direction. 😏
This predicament surely raises eyebrows—especially for those poor investors! It’s almost like everyone decided that Shibarium was last week’s gossip. “What? You still care about Shibarium? How quaint!” 😏 Could this dwindling interest spell doom for SHIB’s value? Stay tuned for more drama than a reality show!
Their scholarly treatise expounds upon a system so refreshingly complicated that one can scarcely imagine how many quavering minions are required to keep it afloat. But do rejoice: this scheme might allow elaborate Bitcoin smart contracts to prance about in a more “capital-efficient” manner. Delightful, is it not? They claim it’s also rather thrifty in computing terms—because who doesn’t love pinching digital pennies?
The frenzied upswing propelled the daily RSI (relative strength index) into the overbought zone, hinting that the rally might be due for a breather. Meanwhile, the OBV (On Balance Volume) made a valiant recovery from April’s lows but stumbled at the 91B resistance. How dramatic. 🎭
JPMorgan Chase casually reported $45.3 billion, marking a modest 9% increase. Sure, they’re huge, but sometimes size isn’t everything, right? 😉
Over the next eight years, Ripple expects this space to spike to almost $19 trillion in volume.
Our dear Adam Schiff, a Senator hailing from the sun-kissed lands of California, has proclaimed his intent to delve into the murky waters of insider trading allegations that have surfaced following President Trump’s rather theatrical announcement of a pause in the reciprocal tariff policy. Ah, the drama!
In a surprisingly democratic twist, Binance let the community vote on which new tokens deserve the spotlight. Three champs emerged victorious from this crypto brawl: Ondo (ONDO), Big Time (BIGTIME), and Virtuals Protocol (VIRTUAL). It’s like they’ve won the most dramatic pageant ever—complete with digital tiaras, of course.