Now, the price has been putting on its best bouncer’s hat, springing up from the $2.80 mark like a cat startled by a cucumber, and the gentlemen analysts have their monocles focused on a dazzling leap to $5. That’s right, a bona fide breakout from the bull flag pattern, if the stars – or rather the candlesticks – align.
In a move so bold, it could only be described as a theatrical revolution, the U.S. regulators SEC and CFTC issued a joint statement declaring that current laws do not prevent exchanges from listing certain spot crypto trading. How delightfully daring! 🎉
Over in Asia, the air grew thick with debate, as heavy and oppressive as a summer fog. China, ever the tightrope walker, faced a dilemma: how to promote the yuan without loosening its iron grip on capital controls? Hong Kong, that scrappy little harbor city, offered a compromise-a new licensing regime that kicked in on August 1. A middle ground, perhaps, but one that smelled faintly of desperation and hope.
Fed Governor Christopher Waller-who sounds like he should run a pizza joint-mentioned that shaking up the payment system is “crucial” to keep everyone happy in the gadget-filled world of today. Imagine a world where your money moves faster than a cheetah on roller skates, with conversations swirling around old-school finance meeting its new, decentralized cousin, stablecoins that are just about as stable as a Jenga tower after a six-pack, tokenization, and the ever-glamorous AI-pays (seriously, it might take over the world one day).
Ondo Finance [ONDO], after loafing about like an old riverboat stuck in the mud, has finally decided to pull up anchor, climbing a respectable 6% in the last 24 hours.
The Nasdaq, that tech-laden barometer of our digital age, rose a modest 0.8%, while the Dow Jones loitered with all the purpose of a man waiting for a bus. The S&P 500, not to be outdone, managed a 0.3% ascent, though one suspects it did so with a yawn. 🥱
Behold! The enchanting tale of Bullish, a crypto darling that owns CoinDesk and dances to the tune of Wall Street’s whims. Compass Point, in their infinite wisdom, offers a “neutral” nod and a $45 dream-a number lofty enough to scare the cats away but modest enough to tempt the gamblers. 🎰
Apparently, Revolut decided to give its loyal employees a chance to cash in, allowing them to sell up to 20% of their personal holdings. Not a bad deal, considering each share is priced at a cool $1,381.06-enough to make your average office coffee budget seem pitiful. The announcement, made this Monday, was greeted with the sort of fanfare reserved for national holidays, after a period of what can only be described as “spectacular financial performance.” Last year, they turned a profit of £1 billion-yes, with a ‘B’-which, frankly, is enough to make most of us question our life choices. ☕🤔
September’s here, and the crypto circus is in full swing! 🎪 Investors are clutching their popcorn 🍿, trying to figure out which coin will steal the show after months of “meh” performances.
In one of them high-falutin’ interviews with Bloomberg, Novogratz prognosticated, “in the not-so-distant future, the biggest user of stablecoins is going to be AI.” I reckon you’ll be hollerin’ at some AI critter to rustle up your vittles, and that little contraption will be rustlin’ the coins all by its lonesome:
