Cryptonews

In the same way a hardy farmer tosses aside an ill-worn plow, Representative Mike
Carey of Ohio, joined by Senator Ted Cruz from Texas, wielded the mighty Congressional
Review Act to strike down the rule. This rule had been crafted to rope in every
digital innovator—from the creators of self-custodial wallets to the dreamers of
decentralized apps—forcing them to play accountant for a system that had never learned
the dance of decentralization.

Apparently, this Bitcoin bonanza is all part of a grand plan to weave “sound money principles” from the Austrian School of Economics into the curriculum. “Prepare students for the uncertain future,” they say. Uncertain? More like utterly baffling! 🤪 The announcement also chirps:

Despite the early week’s tempestuous volatility, where consumer sentiment plummeted like a stone cast into the depths of a murky pond, the stocks climbed. The 10-year Treasury yields rose, as if to mock the very notion of stability, while investors, those brave souls, digested the latest tariff developments in the grand U.S.-China trade dispute—a veritable soap opera of economic proportions.

According to some new, flashy insights from the mysterious market analyst known as World of Charts (yes, that’s his handle—very professional), Solana is testing the waters for a breakout trend. Apparently, the coin is currently “testing” crucial resistances, which, if they break, could push the price up to a jaw-dropping $200. I mean, who doesn’t love a good breakout story, right?

In a dramatic flourish of economic prophecy, the venerable Geoffrey Kendrick of Standard Chartered proclaims XRP is destined for relentless ascent—much like an overzealous protagonist who refuses to learn his lesson. By 2025, a mystical $5.00 beckons, followed by $18 in 2026, then spiraling in a weird dance to $10.40 and $12.50 in subsequent years. “XRP paces about the market, mimicking stablecoins while defying them,” Kendrick opined. One imagines him lighting a candle in some shadowy corner, pondering the universe… with a slight grimace, perhaps. 😏

Their magical concoction, lovingly called the PROOF Act, forbids crypto custodians from blending your precious golden goose eggs with their own cookie jar. And oh, it doesn’t end there: the Act demands monthly reserve audits, so those digital treasure troves better show what they truly hold like a proud peacock. 🦚✨

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Deaton? That guy? Against Ed Markey?” But before you start grabbing your popcorn, let me tell you: a recent poll might just make you reconsider your bet. SurveyUSA—yes, that trusty polling crew—teamed up with the Massachusetts Responsible Alliance (because, of course, everything has an alliance these days) to ask 775 registered voters what they think of a Deaton vs. Markey showdown. At first, Markey was ahead by a solid margin: 45% to Deaton’s 26%. And let’s not forget the 30% who were sitting on the fence, likely flipping a coin between the two. 🧐

In a recent video, Jeremie, with the precision of a butler polishing silver, delved into the mathematical realities of such a price prediction. He didn’t just scratch the surface; he went full Jeeves, explaining what a $1 SHIB would mean for its market capitalization. 🧐

Ah, Dogecoin! Once the darling of the masses, it soared to dizzying heights following the electoral triumph of Mr. Trump, ballooning to a staggering peak of nearly $0.5 in a mere blink of an eye. One could almost hear the jubilant cries of its devotees echoing through the halls of social media.

Then we have the Office of Inspector General – the self-appointed rule enforcers of the SEC. And guess what? They found zero criminal violations. Yeah, zero! As if that settles everything, right? 🙄