The Dogecoin faithful, bless their hopeful hearts 🙏, still dream of that glorious dollar. But the analysts, those joyless accountants of the crypto world 🏦, they offer a litany of reasons why this meme coin, this digital curio, may never reach such dizzying heights. Never, you hear? Such finality!
Lo, Bitcoin (BTC) and its altcoin brethren have tumbled, alongside currencies and equities in the global markets, losing their claim as “digital gold.” While traders, in their folly, may have seen Bitcoin and crypto as a bulwark against declines in global markets, Trump’s tariffs have, with a heavy hand, leveled the field for all assets. 📉
On April 7, XRP took a little tumble below that line, but like a cat with nine lives, it bounced right back up. Turns out, this level isn’t just a number—it’s a psychological battleground, a structural stronghold, and apparently, a place where XRP likes to play peekaboo. The area just under $1.85 has been a hotbed of demand lately, with support stretching back to late 2024 like a stubborn memory.
In the grand salon of cryptocurrency, where nobles and peasants alike trade their digital fortunes, XRP has committed the gravest of social faux pas by falling below $2.00. How peculiar that even Teucrium’s ETF announcement, like a grand ball invitation, failed to rescue our protagonist from its descent! 🎪
Yes, this same Strategy happens to be the biggest corporate BTC hoarder, sitting on 528,185 Bitcoin. But lately, they’ve been as quiet as a mime: no shiny new crypto buys from March 31 to April 6. Maybe the folks at Strategy were too busy ordering takeout to worry about another truckload of BTC. 🤔
You know what’s absolutely hysterical? These Wall Street suits – Goldman Sachs, Blackrock, and Citi (or as I like to call them, the Three Stooges of Finance) – are running around like my sister Amy during a spider sighting. They’re all “recession this” and “market crash that.” Meanwhile, altcoins are partying like it’s 1999, with something called JasmyCoin up 18%. (I’m pretty sure that’s just a fancy way of saying “digital pocket lint.”) 🎪
Market observations reveal that XRP has endured its most lamentable day since November 2024, plummeting 20% from its previous exalted rate of $2.11 to the modest sum of $1.65. This precipitous fall, akin to a misplaced dance step at a ball, is but one note in the broader symphony of a renewed sell-off that has shaken the very foundations of the cryptocurrency sphere.
According to the illustrious crypto data and analytics oracle, Artemis Terminal, on the fateful day of March 17, 2024, the number of active developers gracing open-source repositories was a robust 12,380. Fast forward to March 16, and we find ourselves staring at a dismal figure of approximately 7,600, a drop that echoes a 38.6% decline in weekly active developers. A veritable tragedy, wouldn’t you agree? 📉
Within the ledgers of modern lore, Trump’s assortment of tokens—TROG, TRUMP, TUA, MATIC, GUA, WFI, USACOIN, and the ever-steady USDC—once sparkled like fireflies on a warm summer night. Yet all but the dependable USDC have flickered out since the year’s first light, succumbing to the harsh winds of a capricious market.
The funding round saw participation from angel investors Christopher Grilhault des Fontaines (yes, that’s a real name) and Jean-Luc Bernard, who are apparently very interested in the future of money. Or maybe they just like the sound of their own names. 🤷♂️