Cryptonews

According to the wise folks at CryptoQuant, this move ain’t just a whim-it’s a sign Strategy’s bracing for a market as unpredictable as a dust storm in Oklahoma. 🌪️ That cash reserve? It’s their safety net, meant to cover a year’s worth of dividends and debts, with plans to stretch it to two years or more. Flexibility, they call it. Survival, we call it. 🛟

In a move that might make even the most stoic of financiers raise an eyebrow, Entrée Capital has unveiled a $300 million fund, a sum so grand it could make a Russian nobleman blush. This fund, with its sights set on the early stages of crypto and Web3 infrastructure, is a testament to the growing appetite for blockchain systems that dance seamlessly with modern technology stacks. Ah, the waltz of progress! 💃🕺

Instead of a grand, flashy launch, Schwab’s taking the “slow and steady” approach. First, their employees get to play with it (because who better to test a new system than the folks who already work there?). Then, a lucky few clients get invited to the party. Only after all that will the rest of us plebs get access. It’s like waiting in line for a rollercoaster, but the rollercoaster is your retirement fund. 🎢

The air is crackling with anticipation (and probably a bit of greed) as 21shares US, the crypto wizards, revealed on X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not rename everything?) on Dec. 2 that they’re still waiting for the SEC’s “declaration of effectiveness.” 🧙‍♂️✨ Sounds like something out of a fantasy novel, doesn’t it? Meanwhile, the internet is ablaze with speculation hotter than a dragon’s sneeze. 🔥

That there’s a spike in XRP Ledger payment activity so wild, it’d make a squirrel jealous after a nut shortage! Up 1,100% – fancy on paper, sure, but when you line it up with the price chart, it’s like tryin’ to balance a chicken on a teacup. The network lit up like Fourth of July fireworks, payment volume and counts sprintin’ to heights last seen when folks were still convinced crypto’d buy us wheelchairs for the moon 🌕. But here’s the rub: activity alone don’t dance a bullish tune, and XRP’s chart’s chillin’ in a descending channel, gettin’ rebuffed by the 20-50 EMA crowd like a infographic at a poetry slam. RSI’s in the low 40s, volume on the green candles flatter than a possum on a flatbed truck – ain’t much to cheer about.

Bank of America (NYSE: BAC), in a move that screams “Fine, we’ll do it, but we’re not happy about it,” has decided its wealth management clients can now sprinkle a delicate 1%-4% of their portfolios into crypto. Because nothing says “trustworthy investment” like an asset class that swings harder than a divorcée’s mood. 💃

After years of bickering with the SEC (the crypto equivalent of a really bad ex), Ripple is finally experiencing some sunshine in the regulatory department. Thanks to Trump being in office (don’t ask why, we’re just going with it), XRP, the altcoin launched by Ripple back in 2012, has been comfortably resting above a $2 price tag – a level we haven’t seen since the Great Blockchain Bull Run of 2017.

This past week, Ethereum has dawdled near $3,018, fencing with resistance levels of $3,100-$3,200. Oh, noble analyst “CryptoTrendX,” whose name drips with faux gravitas, proclaims: “A decisive leap above $3,100 may unlock the vaults of $5,000!” One must ask-does this vault require a key, or merely a well-timed gas fee?

Guy on Earth issued a warning so sharp it’s almost poetic-XRP is basically “hanging on for its dear life.” Talk about a mood. His very cautious forecast is that XRP needs Bitcoin to wake up, stretch, and decide to play nice for a change. Apparently, the entire altcoin neighborhood has been living in stress-induced chaos, waiting for BTC to lead the parade to recovery. Once Bitcoin flexes those digital muscles and the altcoins’ dominance shrinks, XRP might get the chance it desperately needs to make a move. Think of Bitcoin as the party host, and XRP as the guest of honor hoping for a dance-if Bitcoin doesn’t get motivated, XRP will still be stuck in the corner trying to figure out where everyone went. 💃