In an absolutely thrilling announcement that has all the suspense of a daytime soap opera, our hero Saylor revealed that his company—a.k.a. the ultimate bitcoin collector—snagged a tidy sum of over 3,400 BTC for the eye-watering price of nearly $286 million. Talk about a shopping spree! 🛒
As of April 13, 2025, Strategy now holds a grand total of 531,644 BTC, all for a mere $35.92 billion, averaging $67,556 per Bitcoin. Not bad for a few well-timed bets on the wild roller coaster that is Bitcoin, wouldn’t you say?
This meteoric rise hints at a burgeoning interest, as if the market itself is shifting its gaze, favoring the buyers like a benevolent monarch. 👑
A press release, delivered with the fanfare of a royal decree, informs us that spot trading – that is, the immediate exchange of one digital coin for another – has surged by nearly 160%! A dizzying climb, indeed! Reaching a total of $387 billion. One might suspect a bit of clever marketing at play, but who are we to question such impressive numbers? Perhaps the new listings and platform features are truly irresistible. 🧐
As if plucked from the pages of a fantastical novel, the announcement, made on April 14, appeared on the company’s Medium page, like a ghostly apparition. This card, dear reader, will allow its fortunate holders to top up with crypto and spend their digital treasures at Mastercard merchants across the globe. A partnership with the Swiss neobank SR Saphirstein AG adds a touch of Alpine charm to this venture, supporting not just Paycoin’s token PCI, but also the illustrious Ethereum (ETH) and the ever-so-stable USD Coin (USDC). Who knew that a card could be so cosmopolitan?
Over the last 72 hours, an excess of 1 million FET has been slyly scooped up in the spot market—an act of stealth accumulation akin to a quiet revolution in the dead of night.
In a missive dispatched via X, on this fourteenth day of April, Mr. Bodily, addressing his 48.2k followers—a considerable number, one must admit—lamented that his Odin.fun account had been breached. He hastened to clarify, however, that this digital trespass “didn’t affect” his Bitcoin wallet. A small comfort, perhaps, in the grand scheme of things. 🤔
Now, gather ’round folks, for the XRP case has caught quite the wind in its sails of late, particularly with our dear nation under the helm of Donald Trump. Just recently, those merry fellows at Ripple and the SEC decided to file a joint motion that’s as cooperative as a pair of cattle at branding time, urging the Appeals Court to place their deliberations in “Abeyance.” Sounds fancy, doesn’t it?
Meanwhile, the altcoins, those lesser luminaries, paused to catch their breath after a weekend of revelry. All except SOL, which, like a determined mountaineer, continued its slow but steady ascent. 🧗♂️✨
Now, on April 14th, after this Mantra token lost more money than my Aunt Sally’s failed pickle business ($5.5 billion, if you’re countin’), Binance came out struttin’ like a rooster in a henhouse, trying to explain themselves on that newfangled X platform.