Crypto Analyst Claims Bitcoin’s Weekly RSI Is About to Go “Avengers” Mode 🚨

According to Svenson, this RSI has been strangled by a resistance trendline since January. If you’re not familiar, that means the RSI has spent most of 2024 climbing a wall higher than the one between you and your neighbor’s Wi-Fi. But, he claims, this infamous trendline is about to crack. “Five days until full confirmation,” Svenson wrote, as though the RSI were a soufflé, and he’s waiting with an oven mitt, poised for greatness.

OM NOM NOM? Buy the Dip or Big Mistake? 📉

As of April 15th, 2025, OM is teetering around $0.81. Up a whopping 52.9% in the last 24 hours, they say. Sounds impressive, until you remember where it was just days ago. It’s like celebrating surviving a dragon attack with a lukewarm cup of tea. ☕

Bitdeer’s Daring Dance with Bitcoin Amid Tariff Tangles!

What’s this? Bitdeer has decided it loves itself more than the other miners! Yes, darling investors, as reported by Bloomberg on April 15, they’re now prioritizing mining Bitcoin (BTC) themselves, no longer playing the role of a mere hardware provider. Quite the plot twist, wouldn’t you agree?

Ethena’s German Exit: A Crypto Farce? 🤣

Ethena Labs, in a move that could be described as either pragmatic or a tad melodramatic, reached an agreement with BaFin, Germany’s financial watchdog. The result? Ethena GmbH, their local subsidiary, is to cease all operations. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from the BaFin bureaucrats, no doubt eager to return to the less turbulent waters of regulating, say, the precise curvature of a sausage. 🌭

Shiba Inu (SHIB) Large Transactions Jump 173%, What’s Happening?

In a rather mind-boggling twist of events, a staggering 1.31 trillion SHIB tokens changed hands, translating to around $15,589,000 in good, old-fashioned cash! Over the past week, large transactions have collectively totaled 1.54 trillion SHIB as investors throw caution to the wind and dance around this meme coin like it’s 1999.

Dogecoin Whales Are Back: Is the Moon Mission Reloading? 🚀🐶

At current prices, these tokens are worth $21.84 million, which is roughly the cost of Elon Musk’s next tweet. Whale accumulation is often seen as a bullish sign because, let’s face it, whales are smarter than your average retail trader. They’ve got the brains, the bucks, and the blubber to make things happen. 🐋

You Won’t Believe How Bitcoin Turned Polite Society Upside Down After Trump’s Tariffs Twist

It appears the mere hint of leniency, arriving as it did late upon a Friday (presumably after a satisfying dinner), has soothed the nerves of investors, who had consoled themselves with fears of exorbitant prices and diminished prospects. The market, ever attentive to tidings of such import, responded with a veritable flurry of optimism, as if Mr. Bitcoin himself had ordered champagne.