If you’ve ever dreamed of paying for your morning coffee in Istanbul’s bustling bazaars or snagging souvenirs in Buenos Aires without breaking a sweat (or the bank), Plasma One might just be your new BFF. It’s like a globetrotting card that says “No fees? Yes, please!” to USDT transfers and serves up virtual cards faster than you can say “Where’s my passport?”
In a move that can only be described as “blockchain goes mainstream,” Fnality, the fintech firm that’s basically rewriting how central banks play with money, raised a whopping $136 million in Series C funding. This is to expand their blockchain-based wholesale payment systems. It’s like the future, but with more banks and less sci-fi.
They declare their treasure map leads to an ever-growing heap of Ethereum, a stash valued at over $462 million, enough to make even the most hardened gold bug jealous. Not content with simply hoarding ETH, they’re also busy tokenizing real-world stuff-houses, cars, perhaps the kitchen sink-anything that can be turned into a digital token and sold for a profit, or so they hope. Meanwhile, they’re gobbling up their own shares-about half a million of ’em at around $2.41-like a squirrel with a nut obsession. 🥜
According to Galeon CEO Loïc Brotons, who presumably spends his days dreaming up ways to make healthcare sound cooler than it actually is, this partnership will integrate Samsung’s ultrasound equipment with Galeon’s electronic health record (EHR) platform. And get this-the EHR is already live in 18 interconnected hospitals across France, including Rouen University Hospital and Caen University Hospital. Because nothing says “cutting-edge innovation” like a bunch of French hospitals sharing ultrasound data. 🇫🇷
Yet, amidst the chaos, some clever folks on the blockchain are whispering sweet nothings about *foundations* being laid for a golden future. Imagine that-the very data that makes traders toss their keyboards and scream, “Buy the dip!” suggests we might just be at the starting line of something big. Or, as the cynics say-wait for the capitulation fireworks-because when everyone’s hopeless, that’s the perfect moment to pounce. Yep, a bit of history, a dash of despair, and voila, the phoenix may rise again. Or so they hope.
The on-chain perpetuals market-where contracts stretch like the horizon and funding rates hum like a lullaby-has seen volumes swell to nearly $700 billion in four weeks. Last 24 hours? A mere $42 billion. Capitalism, that old wolf in sheep’s clothing, has turned the land into a gold rush. From two protocols in 2022 to 80 today, the frontier is crowded, and Hyperliquid’s throne is a splintered bench.
Behold the saga: a startup’s promise, a scandal’s crescendo, and a 2024 climax that turned crypto dreams into legal nightmares. By 2025, users had transformed their grievances into a symphony of affidavits, schemes, and court orders, all while dodging the bureaucratic fog of cross-border jurisprudence. 🕰️⚖️
He’s a lawyer, banker, and media pro-basically a human Swiss Army knife. Which is perfect for explaining why blockchain is the future. Or maybe just perfect for making a PowerPoint about it. 📊
It’s like watching a blockbuster sequel: “Crypto Crimes: The Sequel,” where the bad guys get lazier and more inventive. As the crypto investor club balloons past 10 million (yes, ten million, because apparently, everyone and their dog is now a financial genius), the scams and schemes have also learned a new trick or two. Money laundering, foreign exchange manipulation-you name it, South Korea’s got it. And it’s all happening faster than you can say “blockchain.” Note: Older folks are leading this charge-because nothing says “I got my eye on the prize” like a surprise investment in the dark web.
