Cryptonews

The UXLINK tale has taken an unexpected, financially comedic turn: an elusive prankster has shifted the stolen wealth into stablecoins. Early morning transactions yanked approximately 1,620 ETH, translating to a whimsical $6.8 million, directly into DAI. It happened nearly two days post-breach, displaying the cunning ploy of slyly turning misbegotten assets into stablecoin riches while dodging the watchful eyes of detectives. This cheeky move marks the thief’s initial attempt to rub his ill-gotten gains-talk about upping the stakes!

The nuptials went down at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Antibes, a place so fancy even the doormen probably wear tuxedos 🕴️. For €5,100 a night, you’d expect gold-plated champagne, but no word on that. The guest list read like a Hollywood casting call-Zac Efron, Nina Dobrev, Miles Teller, Chace Crawford, and Coldplay’s Chris Martin, who presumably sang “Yellow” while everyone pretended to be moved 🎤.

The spectacle shall be presided over by none other than Chairman Mike Crapo-a name so fitting for the occasion, one might suspect divine intervention. 🪑 Testifying before him: Lawrence Zlatkin of Coinbase, whose very title (“Vice President of Tax”) sounds like a dystopian job posting, and Jason Somensatto of Coin Center, whose surname suggests he’s either a pasta dish or a minor character in a Solzhenitsyn novel.

Recent increases in activity on Avalanche’s decentralized finance (DeFi) platforms seem to be supporting the price of its cryptocurrency. Data from DefiLlama shows that trading volume on Avalanche’s decentralized exchanges (DEXs) hit a new high of $1.3 billion on September 24th, surpassing the previous peak of $1.18 billion from the day before.

Low capacity usage, robust infrastructure, and stable staking APY put the chain in a strong position. Or, as the wizards of the crypto realm might say, “It’s holding the line… for now.” 🧙♂️

Dogecoin is prancing along a Wyckoff Accumulation pattern on the 1-hour stage. A fella named Trader Tardigrade-yes, a man with a wonderfully squiggly name-tells us the market is tiptoeing through Phases A and B, testing support and resistance like a mischievous child tests a lemon-scented window with a squeaky finger. 🧹

The Fed, in its infinite wisdom, slashed rates, and the market responded like a caffeinated squirrel. The digital asset sphere, lapping up this rate cut like a dog at a water bowl, saw Bitcoin-based funds lead the charge with a healthy $977 million, followed closely by Ethereum’s ever-loyal followers at $772 million. A cocktail of altcoins joined in, causing last week’s total inflows to rocket up to $1.9 billion.

Meanwhile, the charts, those fickle artists, paint a rather gloomy scene: with an MFI of 47.45 and an Aroon Down at a flourishing 85%, bearish murmurs linger in the air like leftovers from last night’s feast. ZEC’s path now wades through the liquidity clusters around $52-55-with an air of suspense befitting a soap opera!

“Supporting local currency stablecoins,” Coinbase intones with the solemnity of a cathedral preacher, “is our sacred vow to pamper the echelons of Australia and Singapore.” Yes, free conversion, my friends! A digital banquet where AUD rests beside AUDD, and SGD waltzes with XSGD-without so much as a toll collector’s sneer.

Raivo Plavnieks, poor guy, was already fighting stage 4 sarcoma and somehow also had to deal with this. He lost over US$32,000 (roughly R$169,000) after downloading a game that promised to be fun and harmless, but spoiler: it was not. Instead, it came with a nasty little surprise-malware.