In the latest saga of blockchain drama, the Sui blockchain has decided that it’s time to have some *skin* in the game and is rolling out its first native stablecoins. Welcome USDi and suiUSDe, courtesy of a three-way collab between SUI Group (SUIG), Ethena’s digital wallet warriors, and the Sui Foundation. Apparently, if you can’t beat them, join them and make your own damn stablecoin.
SEC Commissioner Hester M. Peirce entered the scene with the gravity of a university professor who has discovered a new way to sort brooms by the color of their bristles. She warned that an overzealous hand could smother the newborn DePIN-the decentralized physical infrastructure networks-while the rest of the room whispered about tokens, bandwidth, and the sweet taste of regulatory clarity. 😂
The chaos, which unfolded earlier today, left about $13,000 in user funds feeling a bit greasy, though CZ assures the victims will be fully reimbursed. If only romance were so reliably reimbursed, right?
Get this: the first Ripple CBDC trials, all the way back in 2021 (yes, time flies, darling), kicked off with Bhutan and Palau-yes, Palau. Who even knew that was a place? By 2023, Ripple was rubbing shoulders with Montenegro and Colombia’s central banks. Fancy, huh? But the best bit? Ripple launched a whole platform designed for central bank digital currencies, which just *happens* to be built on the mighty XRP Ledger. 😏
The Stablecoin Infrastructure Fund will target projects that are so complex, even a PhD in finance might need a calculator and a nap. 💡💸 The fund’s goals? Issuance, rails, compliance, and… *checks notes* …maybe a few more acronyms? 🤷♂️
According to a cheeky note posted on X late Wednesday, mere hours after lawmakers tripped over their own shoelaces and failed to shove through a funding bill, the SEC invoked its own secret playbook concocted in August. Picture this: an “extremely limited number of staff” lurking about like ghosts in a haunted house, with systems farting along under “modified conditions.” How delightfully sinister! 👻
It wasn’t that long ago when MEXC Ventures-still riding high on its initial excitement-dropped a modest $16 million into Ethena. But wait, there’s more! They also snagged $20 million worth of USDe, Ethena’s synthetic dollar, which is supposed to stay steady, like a well-behaved dog that never runs off after a squirrel. Isn’t that just adorable?
According to the crypto wizard, Carmelo Alemán from CryptoQuant, these Bitcoin whales are split into two camps: the Zen Masters of HODLing (LTH) and the ADHD Traders (STH). One group meditates on their 3.72 million BTC, bought at a cool $41,887, while the other frantically trades their 1.07 million BTC, snatched up at a whopping $111,299. Talk about buyer’s remorse! 😱
If you thought your morning coffee habit was expensive, meet the U.S.-listed Bitcoin miners. JPMorgan reports they hit a collective $50 billion market cap in September-because why not turn computational chaos into a financial spectacle? 🚀
This acquisition marks Tether’s second grand gesture in 2025, following a similar spectacle in March. One might say they are on a roll, though the term ‘roll’ is perhaps too modest for their ambitions. Their Bitcoin stash now totals 86,335 BTC, a figure that would make even the most ardent penny-pincher weep with joy. 💸
