Crypto Crashes Harder Than My Dating Life After Hormuz Drama

April 18, 2026. Mark it on your calendar as the day crypto markets decided to have an existential crisis because Iran and the U.S. can’t get along. The Strait of Hormuz, apparently the world’s oil babysitter, got shut down, and now everyone’s running for the hills. Risk-off sentiment? More like risk-off-a-cliff.



