The chaos, which unfolded earlier today, left about $13,000 in user funds feeling a bit greasy, though CZ assures the victims will be fully reimbursed. If only romance were so reliably reimbursed, right?
Get this: the first Ripple CBDC trials, all the way back in 2021 (yes, time flies, darling), kicked off with Bhutan and Palau-yes, Palau. Who even knew that was a place? By 2023, Ripple was rubbing shoulders with Montenegro and Colombia’s central banks. Fancy, huh? But the best bit? Ripple launched a whole platform designed for central bank digital currencies, which just *happens* to be built on the mighty XRP Ledger. 😏
The Stablecoin Infrastructure Fund will target projects that are so complex, even a PhD in finance might need a calculator and a nap. 💡💸 The fund’s goals? Issuance, rails, compliance, and… *checks notes* …maybe a few more acronyms? 🤷♂️
According to a cheeky note posted on X late Wednesday, mere hours after lawmakers tripped over their own shoelaces and failed to shove through a funding bill, the SEC invoked its own secret playbook concocted in August. Picture this: an “extremely limited number of staff” lurking about like ghosts in a haunted house, with systems farting along under “modified conditions.” How delightfully sinister! 👻
It wasn’t that long ago when MEXC Ventures-still riding high on its initial excitement-dropped a modest $16 million into Ethena. But wait, there’s more! They also snagged $20 million worth of USDe, Ethena’s synthetic dollar, which is supposed to stay steady, like a well-behaved dog that never runs off after a squirrel. Isn’t that just adorable?
According to the crypto wizard, Carmelo Alemán from CryptoQuant, these Bitcoin whales are split into two camps: the Zen Masters of HODLing (LTH) and the ADHD Traders (STH). One group meditates on their 3.72 million BTC, bought at a cool $41,887, while the other frantically trades their 1.07 million BTC, snatched up at a whopping $111,299. Talk about buyer’s remorse! 😱
If you thought your morning coffee habit was expensive, meet the U.S.-listed Bitcoin miners. JPMorgan reports they hit a collective $50 billion market cap in September-because why not turn computational chaos into a financial spectacle? 🚀
This acquisition marks Tether’s second grand gesture in 2025, following a similar spectacle in March. One might say they are on a roll, though the term ‘roll’ is perhaps too modest for their ambitions. Their Bitcoin stash now totals 86,335 BTC, a figure that would make even the most ardent penny-pincher weep with joy. 💸
According to a report by Interfex Kazakhstan, the FMA got wind of RAKS’s shenanigans when they noticed it was being used to launder money from drug trafficking and internet fraud. Shocking, I know. It’s almost like creating a shadowy, unregulated crypto exchange attracts shady, unregulated people. 🕶️🤑
On the canvas of the daily chart, behold Bitcoin-tiptoeing along the precipice just below that obstinate fortress of resistance, crouching in the $117,000-$118,000 shadows, a siren that last seduced in early September’s haze. A parade of ascending lows since the humble $107,270 nadir murmurs of momentum’s resurgence, building like a poem yet unwritten. 🥴 Bullish tapers and swelling volumes bolster this farce, their recovery arch implying faith’s weary return to the stage. Yet, always the skeptic lurks-caution, that velvet gauntlet, forever jealously guarding the August pinnacle of $124,517, smirking at our lofty dreams.
