Ripple [XRP], that elusive specter of crypto, remains a darling of the financial elite, yet its price clings to $2 like a beggar to a coin purse. Capital flows in, a veritable Tsar of inflows, while the price yawns and scribbles “Later” on the wall. One might think the asset was rehearsing for a role in The Cherry Orchard-waiting for a miracle that never arrives. 🍒
The mining fraternity fares no better, one might say. According to the esteemed Glassnode, total miner revenue hath plummeted from 562 BTC in mid-October to a mere 502 BTC now-a reduction of eleven per cent! Such is the plight of miners, who now feel the squeeze as revenue and profitability take a tumble, much like a gentleman’s hat in a summer storm. 🌧️
Who knew? The Depository Trust & Clearing Corporation (DTCC)-that venerable institution where financial dinosaurs park their pensions-has been granted a no-action letter (NAL) by the SEC to tokenize DTC-custodied assets. On December 11th, they announced it on X with all the subtlety of a brass band. Because nothing says “innovation” like a 30-year-old company leveraging blockchain, right?
These projections arrive, conveniently, as the crypto markets attempt a rather pathetic recovery. Bitcoin, that aging veteran, is already lagging behind its earlier self this year. A tragedy, truly. A tragedy for those who bought the hype, anyway. 🎭
The market is, of course, digesting a sharp correction brought on by those pesky macroeconomic movements-because, as we all know, the world revolves around the Federal Reserve’s every whim. Meanwhile, Cardano’s internal ecosystem seems to be offering as much help as a soggy napkin at a barbecue. And so, ADA’s fate rests on its ability to maintain its fragile support, especially as the general mood of the market turns as gloomy as an overcast Tuesday afternoon.
The OCC, in its infinite wisdom, has granted a conditional green light to five companies, all of which have been knee-deep in digital assets. And what’s this? The crypto world is about to cozy up to the old guard of traditional finance, under the watchful eye of the federal government. The announcement came through on a regular Friday, because why not surprise everyone with a little regulatory drama?
If approved by regulators and accepted by Exor, Tether said it would launch a public tender offer for the remaining shares at the same price, fully funded with its own capital. The company also committed to invest up to €1 billion to support and develop the club following completion. 💸
John Ameriks, the high priest of Vanguard’s quantitative equity temple, declared with a wave of his hand that Bitcoin lacks the sacred trinity of long-term investment virtues: income generation, compounding, and cash flow. “A mere plaything,” he intoned, “driven by the fickle whims of market sentiment and the fever dreams of speculators.” 🌪️
Oh, how charming-Interactive Brokers has finally decided to accept stablecoins, because nothing says “I’m a serious investor” like funding your account with a cryptocurrency that’s literally just a copy of the dollar. 🤯💰
In a blog post that reeked of both ambition and desperation, Pyth revealed it would dip into its DAO’s coffers, buying tokens with one-third of its revenue. This, they claimed, would “increase revenue and token purchases”-a logic as circular as a donut in a black hole. The network added, “[I]t’s time to rewrite the market data economy on a global level,” as if the world hadn’t already been rewritten by 10,000 other crypto projects with similar bravado.
