Ah, the SEC, that grand arbiter of financial fate, approved spot Solana ETFs, and the world rejoiced. But the true drama, my dear reader, lies not in the headlines, but in the footnotes, in the 13F filings where institutions, with the stubbornness of a cat chasing its tail, continued to buy as SOL crumbled like a stale biscuit.
Storm was previously convicted in August 2025 for operating an unlicensed money transmitting business linked to the crypto mixing service Tornado Cash. However, the jury, clearly unimpressed by the DOJ’s legal performance, couldn’t agree on the other two charges, leaving them in limbo.
In the mist‑laden hills of Bhutan, where the air is as pure as a monk’s demeanor, an address linked to the government has decided to shove a staggering eleven million dollars of Bitcoin into the digital ether. It’s like the nation chose to feast on a digital elephant for lunch-quite the audacious breakfast, if you … Read more
Enter PlanB, the mysterious figure behind the Stock-to-Flow model. According to him, Bitcoin’s price during the 2024-2028 halving cycle could average around $500,000-ranging from a humble $250,000 to an outrageous $1 million. It’s like those lottery ads that promise you’ll win big if only you buy a ticket.
XRP, like a wayward traveler, found solace above $1.3220 and began its journey of recovery, mirroring the travails of Bitcoin and Ethereum. It climbed above $1.3350 and $1.350, entering a realm of fleeting positivity. Yet, the gods of the market are cruel, for even as it breached the 23.6% Fib retracement level, it was met with resistance at every turn. The bullish trend line, with its support at $1.3705, offers a glimmer of hope, but hope, as we know, is a fickle companion.
Market observer CRG, a man of questionable sanity, highlighted an impressive reversal in Solana’s futures market activity, where price initially dropped sharply before recovering in a V-shaped move. Such sudden reversals often indicate liquidity sweeps, where leveraged positions are flushed out like a particularly enthusiastic cat. This, of course, is all very scientific, and entirely unrelated to the fact that someone might have accidentally spilled a cup of tea on the trading floor.
This funding round was jointly led by QED Investors and Left Lane Capital. KAST previously raised funding in late 2024 with support from HongShan Capital and Peak XV Partners.
The co-founder of BitMEX, a man whose crypto pronouncements are as frequent and unpredictable as a London fog, took to X to serenade the masses with his latest ode to Hyperliquid. The platform, he insists, is the only venue where the oil perpetual contract CL-USDC can truly “discover” itself while the real world burns-metaphorically and literally.
HTX Global, ever the bearer of good news, has joyfully announced the complete resolution of the infamous security incident that shook the Flow blockchain on December 27. Can you believe it?
The Numbers Behind the Move