Bitcoin, that fickle tsar of digital currencies, ascended to a record high above $126,000 in early October, only to be toppled by a liquidation event so colossal-$19 billion!-it would make even Chichikov blush. 📉💸
HashKey Capital, a subsidiary of HashKey Holdings, said it closed the first round of fundraising for its fourth crypto fund, locking in $250 million from a mix of institutional investors, family offices and high-net-worth individuals. 💸
This revolution didn’t happen overnight. After the exploit reared its ugly head in early November, the validators first tried a soft fork – blockchain’s version of a warning shot. But when that didn’t scare the hacker straight, they went full-on hard fork, a move as controversial as a socialist at a Wall Street gala. 🍴🔨
Ah, Aave. It has come to this. A moment not of innovation, but of reckoning. A conflict not of code, but of wills. One wonders if the architects of this digital realm foresaw such… discordance. 🧐
So, Gnosis Chain decided to play superhero this week, swooping in with a hard fork to claw back $9.4M from the Balancer hack. Because, let’s face it, $128M disappearing across Ethereum, Base, Polygon, and co. is enough to make even Mark Darcy raise an eyebrow. 😳
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), that stalwart of integrity, announced charges against three purported crypto asset trading platforms and four investment clubs, alleging a wide-ranging fraud scheme that targeted retail investors through social media promotions and messaging apps. One might say the SEC has finally found a use for its coffee-stained coffee mugs. ☕
On a Monday as dreary as any Gorky tale, the analyst, in an X post that could test the patience of Tolstoy himself, sketched a framework to dissect XRP’s elusive price trajectory. Here lies the epochal question: the price at which this digital chimera casts away the shackles of pre-funding, slippage, and liquidity stress, morphing into a sovereign-scale settlement deity. Armed with jargon like ‘global settlement volume,’ ‘order-book depth,’ and ‘central-bank-scale transaction sizing,’ he evaluates this epic journey. 📈
The venerable institution now contemplates expanding its digital horizons, crafting services for those privileged institutional clients who demand a slice of the crypto pie. It’s a bold step, reminiscent of a confident nobleman venturing into the bustling market-risky yet potentially rewarding, and quite possibly, the talk of the town.
Gold’s up 73.6% this year thanks to Fed rate cuts, geopolitical drama, and central banks buying like it’s Black Friday at Tiffany’s. Global reserves hit 40,000 tonnes-because nothing says “diversify” like hoarding gold like Scrooge McDuck. 💰
On Monday, the enigmatic NoLimit, a prophet of the digital realm, declared that this Friday shall be etched into the annals of crypto history. Over $23.6 billion in Bitcoin options, like a titan’s wager, await expiration. The expert, with a gaze as piercing as a dagger, urges all who hold crypto to watch with bated breath-or perhaps with a glass of vodka in hand. 🥃