So, Gnosis Chain decided to play superhero this week, swooping in with a hard fork to claw back $9.4M from the Balancer hack. Because, let’s face it, $128M disappearing across Ethereum, Base, Polygon, and co. is enough to make even Mark Darcy raise an eyebrow. 😳
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), that stalwart of integrity, announced charges against three purported crypto asset trading platforms and four investment clubs, alleging a wide-ranging fraud scheme that targeted retail investors through social media promotions and messaging apps. One might say the SEC has finally found a use for its coffee-stained coffee mugs. ☕
On a Monday as dreary as any Gorky tale, the analyst, in an X post that could test the patience of Tolstoy himself, sketched a framework to dissect XRP’s elusive price trajectory. Here lies the epochal question: the price at which this digital chimera casts away the shackles of pre-funding, slippage, and liquidity stress, morphing into a sovereign-scale settlement deity. Armed with jargon like ‘global settlement volume,’ ‘order-book depth,’ and ‘central-bank-scale transaction sizing,’ he evaluates this epic journey. 📈
The venerable institution now contemplates expanding its digital horizons, crafting services for those privileged institutional clients who demand a slice of the crypto pie. It’s a bold step, reminiscent of a confident nobleman venturing into the bustling market-risky yet potentially rewarding, and quite possibly, the talk of the town.
Gold’s up 73.6% this year thanks to Fed rate cuts, geopolitical drama, and central banks buying like it’s Black Friday at Tiffany’s. Global reserves hit 40,000 tonnes-because nothing says “diversify” like hoarding gold like Scrooge McDuck. 💰
On Monday, the enigmatic NoLimit, a prophet of the digital realm, declared that this Friday shall be etched into the annals of crypto history. Over $23.6 billion in Bitcoin options, like a titan’s wager, await expiration. The expert, with a gaze as piercing as a dagger, urges all who hold crypto to watch with bated breath-or perhaps with a glass of vodka in hand. 🥃
The deal marks one of Alphabet’s largest infrastructure-focused acquisitions and points to a growing reality in Big Tech: AI is as much an energy problem as it is a computing challenge. By bringing Intersect Power in-house, Bloomberg reports that Alphabet aims to gain tighter control over how, where, and when power is generated for Google’s data centers as U.S. grids strain under rising demand. Dear old thing, who knew electricity could be so… dramatic? 💰
CoinMarketCap data shows that Solana’s trading volume climbed by 10.6% to $3.19 billion in the last 24 hours. Despite this, the price has remained in the red zone. SOL is underperforming the broader crypto market as Bitcoin dominance rose to nearly 60%-because nothing says “I’m the king” like a 60% slice of the pie. 🍕👑
According to CoinGlass data, Shiba Inu open interest reached $75.76 million in the last 24 hours, which translates to 10,346,899,754,165 SHIB. This represents a nearly 8% increase. Whereas Shiba Inu open interest has declined in prior days, the current increase marks a significant shift. A most fortuitous turn of events, I daresay 🤯.
In a move as sudden as a typhoon in June, Bybit, the second-biggest crypto exchange by trading volume, has decided to give Japan the ol’ heave-ho. 🌪️ The company, with a straight face, claims it’s all about “compliance”-you know, that fancy word for “we don’t wanna get sued.” 🤷♂️