Taylor starts with the obvious: “Something feels different.” No kidding, Will. The last five years have been a rollercoaster of tariffs, wars, and economic shenanigans that make the Great Depression look like a minor hiccup. He points to the US-led “rules-based order” showing cracks, thanks to Trump’s trade tantrums and the Russia-Ukraine war, which apparently made the US dollar less of a global BFF. Who knew sanctions could be so… sanction-y?
Bitcoin, that shimmering beacon of hope, lingers in the $60,000-$69,000 range-a mere shadow of its former self after the dizzying heights of October 2025. XRP, ever the stalwart defender, clings to a structural level that has historically marked the turning tides of fortune. Yet, as the data from CryptoQuant reveals, a staggering $209 billion has evaporated into thin air across altcoins within a mere 13 months. One must wonder, where have all the buyers gone? Off to chase rainbows, perhaps?
The venerable Coin Center, that paragon of crypto advocacy, now implores the Senate Banking Committee to hasten the passage of the BRCA bill, a shield for the innocent developers who merely write code, not hoard gold. One might think the Senate would welcome such a measure, but alas, they linger in their bureaucratic dithering, as if the fate of innovation hinges on a committee’s whim.
The numbers tell a tale of hubris and hangovers. Back in late 2025, stablecoin reserves swelled like a drunkard’s wallet at a casino-$11.4 billion in a month, because why not? But when the music stopped, the crowd stampeded out, draining $8.4 billion by December like a collective sigh of relief. Now, the outflows have slowed to a trickle, as if the market’s finally remembered it’s not a fire drill. But let’s not confuse a pause for peace; this is just the calm before the next storm, or maybe the market’s way of saying, “I’ll rest when I’m dead.”
Chairman Mike Selig, a man who once claimed that betting markets are great for hedging rain‑shower risk and making the press forget that the sky is not always green, posted a video on X, the social media platform that is as much a space shuttle launchpad as it is a meme hastily evolved from a rubber‑duck discussion group. In it he says, “We’ll see you in court.” We’re not sure if he warns or warns by saying “see.” The point is, the CFTC is moving like a white‑dated hat in a pigeon‑filled courtroom.
Bitwise has filed for a prediction market ETF targeting major U.S. elections. The move is indicative of increasing institutional interest in political event-based contracts. Industry observers are attributing the filing to the increase in demand for regulated exposure.
Le parfum de la nouveauté, pourtant, ne se limite pas à un simple trésor familial. Certains savants disaient que c’est une cravate de loyauté que Kraken noue à l’armure bienveillante d’un État aux vertus crypto-digeree.
Soluna Holdings Inc., with a flourish worthy of a Gogol protagonist, has announced its latest tryst with Blockware, bolstering its Dorothy 1 site-a renewable-powered data center where the sun’s rays are harnessed not for crops, but for the ethereal dance of cryptocurrency. Deployment, they say, began in January, and by February’s end, the deed shall be done. Ah, the sweet predictability of deadlines in a world of chaos!
In a rather audacious announcement, Tether-yes, the purveyor of that ever-so-stable USD₮ stablecoin-has revealed that Elemental Royalty Corporation will bestow upon its shareholders the delight of receiving dividends in Tether Gold (XAU₮). How modern and revolutionary! One can only imagine the thrill of watching their dividends shimmer in the digital ether.
New data suggests Bitmine’s strategy is part of a “quiet” institutional trend, which is finance-speak for “we’re buying while everyone else is panicking and/or napping.”