The 1-hour chart looks like a rollercoaster designed by a mischievous imp. HBAR’s been wobbling between $0.1307 and $0.1310, as if it’s stuck in a particularly stubborn patch of quicksand. Earlier, it flirted with $0.142-$0.144, but buyers were as reliable as a chocolate teapot. ☕️
My dear reader, it is with a most solemn tone that I relate the recent events transpiring between the esteemed Binance and the beleaguered Upbit. South Korean constabulary, with all the urgency of a gentleman tardy to a ball, requested the freezing of 470 million KRW in Solana tokens-stolen, one presumes, by a rogue with … Read more
This cosmic partnership between the Google-owned video behemoth and PayPal is apparently a “major step forward for crypto adoption.” 🦄 Or, as we like to call it, a giant leap into the unknown for people who just wanted to make cat videos and get paid for it. 🐱
This week’s Bitcoin options ballet features a put/call ratio of 1.1 – a delicate dance where shorts slightly outnumber longs, as if the market itself is whispering, “Expect a gentle exit, dear traders, nothing too tumultuous.” The maximum pain point hovers around $90,000-like a secret lover’s whisper-according to Coinglass. Open interest (OI), that charming number of contracts yet to bow out, peaks at $100,000, with $2.7 billion waiting in the wings on Deribit, while another $2 billion lurks around the $80k and $85k marks. Total Bitcoin options interest across all exchanges? A staggering $54.6 billion-nothing to sneeze at unless you’re the crypto owl blinking in the candlelight. The market’s mood? Calm-centered around the $90K mark, as if waiting for a plot twist.
In the ever-evolving tapestry of crypto jurisprudence, it has become abundantly clear that a token, standing alone as a digital curiosity, is not inherently a security. Oh no, the true mischief lies in the investment contract-that intricate arrangement, scheme, or promise surrounding its distribution. How very cunning! 🕵️♂️💼
Bitcoin, that tempestuous muse of the markets, teeters on the precipice of correction. The Federal Reserve, in its wisdom (or folly?), has once again loosened the purse strings. Yet, on-chain data, that silent oracle, murmurs of pains yet to be endured. 🌪️📉
What could prompt such an event, you might ask, chuckling under your breath at the absurdity?
The Hong Kong-based digital asset custodian, with a flourish of bureaucratic precision, declared that this new token, wXRP, would permit XRP to pirouette through decentralized finance applications on chains such as Ethereum, Solana, Optimism, and HyperEVM. The initiative, a beacon of accessibility, aims to liberate XRP from its native ledger and offer users a regulated path to traverse networks. 🚀
This order commands the Department of Labor (DOL) and the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to lower regulatory barriers faster than a banana peel in a slapstick scene. 🍌😂 Currently, these barriers keep investments in alternative assets-like private equity, real estate, digital assets, and commodities-out of 401(k) retirement plans. But fear not, the government is here to save the day… or is it?
Ezeebit, the darling of South African crypto enthusiasts, has indeed ensnared $2.05 million (R34.9 million) in seed funding, under the patronage of Raba Partnership-previously an early supporter of Flutterwave, no less-and the decidedly American Founder Collective. How quaint!
