Cryptonews

The move further shifts BitMine from a passive ETH holder as it prepares for a major expansion of its authorized share count. 🧠💸

Fast-forward seventeen years, and Bitcoin has become the financial equivalent of a rebellious teenager who somehow inherited a spaceship and a Nobel Prize. It’s survived ridicule, regulatory tantrums, and the existential dread of being called “dead” 450 times. Happy birthday, you chaotic genius! 🎉

On the fateful morn of January 2, 2026, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) bid adieu to Commissioner Caroline Crenshaw, a woman whose tenure was as tumultuous as a Dostoevskian novel. Her decade-long vigil was marked by an unyielding commitment to investor protection and market integrity, though the crypto zealots would have you believe she was the antichrist of innovation. 😇👿

The largest batch, 39 million RLUSD, was minted with the fervor of a madman scribbling equations on cathedral walls. The other two, 19 million and 10 million, followed in its shadow, their digits clinking like the bones of a long-dead economist. One might say Ripple is preparing a feast for exchanges-or perhaps a ransom for cross-border payments? Only time will tell if this liquidity is a gift or a trap.

Key Twistings of Fate

Key takeaways (or as I like to call them, “The Tea”)

Valuation pressure is mounting on Bitcoin treasury companies as nearly 40% of the top 100 firms now trade below the net asset value of their Bitcoin holdings. The equity financing under these conditions is value-destructive. Macro analyst Alex Kruger compared the current model with the 2020 pre-collapse premium of Grayscale Bitcoin Trust, stating it was unsustainable. 🧠💸

Since October, over half of XRP’s supply has vanished from exchanges faster than your ex’s texts after they meet your mom. This isn’t just a move; it’s a strategic masterstroke, indicating holders are playing the long game-like kids with a piggy bank and the patience of a sloth on Valium. With fewer tokens available to trade, prices could react faster than a chameleon changing colors when buying picks up. If demand makes a comeback, XRP might not just see a rise-it could experience a vertical launch akin to a rocket fueled by espresso and ambition.

In the recent reflections of the astute analyst Axel Adler, we are treated to a glimpse of the chaotic ballet that is the market. Here, we see the Net Taker Flow-a dance of buyers and sellers-peaking in euphoric frenzy only to fade into the shadows like a fleeting thought, a whisper of past glories. The balance of power, dear friend, now tips towards the sellers, though still with an air of moderation, as if they are merely testing the waters before plunging into the depths of despair.

An impressive sum of $4,600,000 will be doled out to approximately 13,700 souls who have toiled within the hallowed halls of Target’s distribution centers. Yes, you read that right-money for nothing, or at least for a lot of walking and waiting!