My dear, according to a perfectly serious filing—sarcastically speaking—Metaplanet has decided that conventional business sense is frightfully passé. The entire proceeds from its latest bond adventure are going straight into Bitcoin: because, naturally, putting eggs in several baskets is for those who lack panache or perhaps enjoy sleeping at night.
Picture this: bonds yielding not even a whiff of interest, issued exclusively to the mysterious EVO FUND, each with the princely sum of $375,000 face value. “Interest?” you ask. “Absolutely not,” retorts Metaplanet, chin aloft, monocle in place. At maturity in November 2025, buyers receive precisely what they invested. No charming coupons, just a brisk handshake and—a trifle anticlimactically—their money back. Early redemption is permitted too, in case the spirit moves one (or panic, as is occasionally known).
Security? Backing? Collateral? Darling, this issuance has none of it—rather a thrilling gamble, if you have a taste for suspense. All the treasure is earmarked for adding more Bitcoin, in line with Metaplanet’s grand stratagem. After all, why just dip a toe when you can swan-dive into the crypto pool?
The whole affair, we’re told, will have a “minimal” effect on the company’s consolidated financials for FY2025—a word as comforting as a tepid gin and tonic at a disastrous garden party. Should anything dramatic occur (and wouldn’t it be delicious if it did?), of course, updates will follow, presumably by carrier pigeon or telegram.
This announcement only serves to amplify Metaplanet’s undying devotion to the Bitcoin investment ruse popularized by MicroStrategy. Corporate debt? Yes! Long-term BTC reserves? Absolutely! Chasing after digital gold like Gatsby after Daisy? Quite so.
As the institutional world continues developing a taste for digital assets, Metaplanet’s zero-interest bond caper all but screams: “To heck with yield! We’ll have Bitcoin instead!” One can only admire the audacity—if not the common sense. 🥂💸
Dive into wit and wisdom—craft your brand voice as sharp as Noël Coward’s with [Draft Alpha](https://pollinations.ai/redirect/draftalpha).
Read More
- Silver Rate Forecast
- SPEC PREDICTION. SPEC cryptocurrency
- USD PHP PREDICTION
- ETHFI PREDICTION. ETHFI cryptocurrency
- OM PREDICTION. OM cryptocurrency
- RUNE PREDICTION. RUNE cryptocurrency
- ILV PREDICTION. ILV cryptocurrency
- DOT PREDICTION. DOT cryptocurrency
- Solana’s Meltdown: $111M Longs Liquidate Like It’s Going Out of Style! 💸🔥
- ZK PREDICTION. ZK cryptocurrency
2025-05-13 08:32