In the carnival of crypto chaos, where Digital Asset Treasury (DAT) stocks nosedive faster than a rollercoaster, the ever-charming Michael Saylor emerged from his cryptic lair, waving a defiant flag. Or perhaps a Bitcoin banner-who can tell anymore? With a grin and a dash of wit, he declared market volatility to be no catastrophe but a gift from Satoshi himself, wrapped in a shiny blockchain bow.
He turned the market’s rollercoaster screams into a symphony of opportunity, suggesting that those who tremble are playing checkers while he’s out here playing 3D chess with a side of margin trading.
“Volatility is Vitality”: Saylor Dismisses Liquidation Fears (and Winks at the Chaos)
Though MicroStrategy’s shares have tumbled 41% – a figure more dramatic than a soap opera plot – Saylor, with the confidence of a man who owns a small country in Bitcoin, pointed to $6.1 billion in unrealized gains, asserting that his company’s crypto treasure chest remains more than enough to buy a small island or at least a really classy yacht party. He called the fluctuations “vitality” and, with a wink, credited Satoshi’s prankster spirit as a “gift,” because who doesn’t love a little chaos with their profits?
“If Bitcoin wasn’t volatile, it probably wouldn’t be high performance,” Saylor claimed, comparing the wild swings to energizing fires: “There are those people that run from the fires and then there’s people that put the fire in the automobile or the jet airplane.”
Addressing the brave souls worried about closing time-liquidation-Saylor insisted that both Bitcoin and MSTR shareholders must pledge at least four years of patience, with ten years being the “correct” (read: “long enough to forget your worries”) horizon. He dismissed fears of forced selling as mere “rounding errors,” because who cares about a tiny fraction of Bitcoin’s daily trading volume when you’re busy planning offline crypto castles?
“I Won’t ₿ack Down”
– Michael Saylor (@saylor) November 23, 2025
Slapping away warnings of possible exile from fancy indices like MSCI or NASDAQ 100 as “alarmist,” he argued that market decisions are ultimately just a game of musical chairs-eventually, everyone sits where they’re supposed to, especially when there’s a pile of digital gold involved.
Meanwhile, as other DAT players like FG Nexus and BitMine are bogged down in losses and frantic asset sales, MicroStrategy continues its relentless acquisition spree, snapping up another $830 million worth of Bitcoin this very week. Because why not?
“We’ve got capital for the next 70 years,” Saylor declared, even if Bitcoin decides to sit around the fire and roast marshmallows. To him, this chaos is just noise-a background hum in the symphony of crypto, which, like all good jokes, will pass with time.
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2025-11-24 05:56