Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Bear Market or Bull Market? 🐻 vs 🐯

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Oh, what a jolly jolt! Bitcoin, that cheeky chappie, took the crypto community by surprise when it zipped past the $94,000 resistance level like a chocolate-covered rocket. But hold your cocoa-was it just a little bear market hiccup, or has the bull returned from its tea break? Let’s ask CryptoQuant, the oracle of gloom who predicted this bear market earlier. Spoiler: they’re still frowning. 😒

CryptoQuant’s Bear Market Blues 🐻

On Friday the 16th, the blockchain’s most grumpy analyst, CryptoQuant, declared in its report that Bitcoin’s demand conditions are “less negative” since its recent $97k sprint. This comes after they confidently announced the start of a bear market when BTC dipped below the 365-day moving average-a line so sacred it should be enshrined in a gold-plated teacup. But alas, Bitcoin’s been climbing since November 2025 like a toddler on a trampoline, up 21% so far. Progress? Perhaps. Hope? Not really. 🤷♂️

In their report, CryptoQuant noted that while Bitcoin tiptoed toward the 365-day average (currently $101k), it’s still not daring enough to cross the line. This magical number, they say, is like a “regime boundary”-a fancy way of saying it’s a wall that makes Bitcoin cry. History shows it’s a gatekeeper of doom, sending prices tumbling before they can even whisper “bull market.”

But wait! The demand conditions have improved “at the margin,” which in crypto-speak means “meh, it’s not terrible.” The Coinbase Premium briefly turned positive-like a shy smile at a party-while U.S. ETFs paused their selling spree after offloading 54k BTC in November. But let’s not get carried away; this isn’t accumulation, it’s just a breather. Meanwhile, on-chain spot demand is still plummeting, down 67k BTC in 30 days. It’s like watching a toddler eat broccoli-reluctant and tragic. 🥦

And oh, the dreaded exchange inflows! Transfers to centralized exchanges hit a 7-day high of 39k BTC, which, in crypto-terms, is a red flag waving like a drunken sailor. According to CryptoQuant, this means “sell-side pressure is brewing”-a fancy way of saying panic is simmering in the background. So, while the market conditions are “improving,” Bitcoin’s still stuck in its bear cycle, sipping bitter tea and sighing. ☕😩

Bitcoin Price At A Glance

As of now, BTC is chilling at $95,200, doing the crypto equivalent of a power nap. No significant movement in 24 hours. Boring? Absolutely. Predictable? You bet. But hey, at least it’s not dancing on a unicycle again. 🛼

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2026-01-18 02:55