Bitcoin’s Unshakable Throne: A Tale of Greed & Keys 🤑🔑

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In a recent appearance on that grand stage of financial enlightenment, CNBC’s Squawk Box, Anthony Pompliano-self-styled prophet of the digital gold cult-proclaimed with the solemnity of a man announcing the death of a monarch that Bitcoin shall reign supreme. One might imagine him perched atop a digital Mount Olympus, tossing out pronouncements while sipping a latte made of ether. His argument? That the notion of “blockchain, not Bitcoin” is as defunct as a horse-drawn carriage in the age of electric vehicles. A bold claim, to be sure, though one suspects the blockchain itself might yawn at the drama.

Mr. Pompliano, ever the eloquent orator, framed the matter not as a technological debate but a philosophical one: to own or not to own, that is the question. Or, as it might read in a tavern sign: “Wilt thou clutch thy coins like a miser, or entrust them to the whims of custodians?” A dilemma as old as the hills, though with more zeroes and fewer donkeys.

The King of the Blockchain Jungle 🦁

He argued, with the fervor of a man who has clearly never misplaced his keys, that Bitcoin’s supremacy has been tested and found wanting only by those who misread the scorecard. Blockchain, he conceded, has its uses-like a hammer in a carpenter’s toolkit-but Bitcoin is the nail everyone insists on driving into the same board. A metaphor so profound it could win a Nobel, if only the committee accepted cryptocurrency as a currency of prestige.

The market’s volatility, he suggested, is merely the result of investors’ conflicting desires: some crave yield, others cradle their assets like newborns. A schism as old as Cain and Abel, though with more spreadsheets and fewer stones. He noted, with the air of a man who has never owned a stock, that the years since 2016 have seen Bitcoin’s influence grow “like ivy on a financial skyscraper”-a simile so vivid it might inspire a new school of architecture.

The Great Custody Schism 🧾

Some, he observed, now convert their hoards into BTC ETFs, a move as sensible as storing your wine in a warehouse rather than your cellar. These funds, he explained, offer the allure of professional custodians-individuals whose sole purpose is to guard your wealth while you sip tea and ponder the meaning of life. A service, one imagines, that costs more than the tea.

Yet Pompliano, ever the egalitarian, warned against assuming everyone would follow this path. “A core of the community,” he said, “will cling to self-custody like a child to a security blanket.” A sentiment as touching as it is impractical, though one suspects the child in question has a private key tattooed on their arm.

Custody: From Ideology to Practicality

The conversation, he mused, has shifted from the lofty heights of ideology to the muddy ground of pragmatism. Bitcoin, he declared, is becoming “a mainstream store of value”-a phrase so anodyne it could be printed on a cereal box. Yet many, he added, will continue to chant “not your keys, not your coins” with the fervor of a liturgical rite. A schism that divides the faithful as sharply as any religious reformation, though with more screenshots and fewer martyrs.

Pompliano concluded with a warning: splitting one’s capital across ETFs, infrastructure bets, and direct holdings is like baking a cake and then eating the ingredients. Volatility, he suggested, is the price of admission to this bedlam of speculation. A trade-off, he mused, as simple as it is absurd. One might almost pity the investors, if not for the glint of greed in their eyes.

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2025-08-22 16:01