Bitcoin’s ‘Crash’ Was Just a Fashion Faux Pas 🐇💣

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Bitcoin (BTC), that poor creature, opened December with a 5.13% slump-just as hopeful souls began to whisper of a recovery. But fear not! A top analyst, Shanaka Anslem Perera, insists the cryptocurrency didn’t crash. No, no, no. It was executed by the Japanese government bond. One might say the yen has a vengeful streak.

Forced Selling: Bitcoin’s New Identity Crisis 🎭

In a lengthy post on X, Perera claimed Bitcoin’s dip wasn’t a crash but a “volatility dance.” The real culprit? Japan’s interest rates, which have suddenly decided to play the lead role in a financial thriller. For decades, Japan’s low rates lured investors like moths to a flame-only to scorch them when the flame flickered.

This “yen carry trade,” a masquerade ball of borrowed yen and speculative bets, has been worth $3.4-$20 trillion. But now, Japan’s bonds have risen like a poorly timed soufflé, making borrowing expensive and investors… well, panicky. The unwinding began on December 1, 2025, when Japan’s 10-year yield hit 1.877%. The 2-year yield? A terrifying 1%. One might say the Bank of Japan finally learned how to throw a party.

BITCOIN DID NOT CRASH.

It was executed.

The weapon: Japanese Government Bonds.

On December 1, 2025, Japan’s 10-year yield hit 1.877 percent. The highest since June 2008. The 2-year touched 1 percent. A level not seen since before Lehman fell.

This triggered the unwinding of…

– Shanaka Anslem Perera ⚡ (@shanaka86) December 1, 2025

Investors, now unable to borrow cheap yen, sold everything-Bitcoin, stocks, bonds. Perera, ever the dramatist, insists this forced Bitcoin to “act like a risk asset” instead of its usual “safe hedge.” A tragic transformation, one might say, akin to a poet becoming a stockbroker.

Perera also noted a $3.45 billion outflow from Bitcoin ETFs and $646 million in crypto liquidations. A veritable feast for the market’s predators, though one wonders if anyone bothered to RSVP.

Whales Swim While Miners Drown 🐳🐟

Amidst the chaos, Bitcoin whales are buying like it’s Black Friday. Miners? They’ve cut sales from 23,000 BTC to 4,000 monthly. One might call it a “long-term strategy”-or simply a very expensive hobby.

Short-term investors, meanwhile, are panicking over the Bank of Japan’s December 18 meeting. If they hike rates, Perera predicts Bitcoin could plummet to $75,000. Another analyst thinks $40,000. If they pause? Recovery to $100,000. As of press time, Bitcoin hovered at $86,640.55-a 5.04% drop. A modest tragedy, perhaps, but one with flair.

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2025-12-01 16:42