Bitcoin to the Moon? 🚀 Grayscale Says 2026 is the Year!

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Well, strap in, folks, because the crypto rollercoaster is about to take another wild turn! 🌪️ Apparently, by March 2026, Bitcoin will be so high it’ll make your 401(k) look like a piggy bank. 🤑 According to Grayscale’s Head of Research, Zach Pandl (who I’m sure has a crystal ball hidden somewhere), the stars are aligning for Bitcoin to hit new all-time highs. 🌟 Why? Because fiat currencies are as stable as a Jenga tower after a few too many eggnogs, and regulators are finally starting to act like they’ve read the crypto manual. 📚

Pandl reckons a “supportive regulatory environment” is on the horizon. Translation: the government is finally catching up to the fact that crypto isn’t just for buying questionable NFTs. 🖼️ Plus, with fiat currencies weaker than a decaf latte, everyone’s looking for a better place to stash their cash. 💸

The Market Structure Bill: Because Congress Finally Got Off the Couch 🛋️

Crypto’s come a long way since 2008-kind of like how I’ve come a long way since my “I’ll just have one slice of pizza” days. 🍕 But progress has been slower than a sloth on a Sunday. The GENIUS Act and crypto ETFs were nice, but let’s be honest, we’re still waiting for the main course. 🥩

Enter the bipartisan market structure bill, which has been delayed more times than a British train. 🚂 Pandl’s betting it’ll finally pass in early 2026, thanks to some Senate folks who apparently found their copy of “How to Work Together 101.” 📖

“It looks like we are on track in January or in Q1,” Pandl said in a CNBC interview. “Even if it doesn’t get done immediately… bipartisan progress is really the key.” 🗝️

We had a great call today with Chairmen @SenatorTimScott and @JohnBoozman who confirmed that a markup for Clarity is coming in January. Thanks to their leadership, as well as @RepFrenchHill and @CongressmanGT in the House, we are closer than ever to passing the landmark crypto… 🎉

– David Sacks (@davidsacks47) December 18, 2025

This bill, Pandl says, will let companies issue tokens like they’re handing out business cards. 🎟️ From startups to Fortune 500 giants, everyone’s going to be tokenizing their lunch budgets. 🥪

Bitcoin’s Big Comeback: From Zero to Hero? 🦸♂️

After a 2025 that was about as exciting as watching paint dry, Bitcoin’s supposed to roar back like a lion in 2026. 🦁 Grayscale’s predicting new all-time highs in the first half of the year. Why? Because the Fed’s cutting rates, gold’s shining, and Bitcoin’s ready for its close-up. 🎥

Grayscale’s 2026 Digital Asset Outlook is here with 10 themes marking the “Dawn of the Institutional Era.” 🌅

Our first three themes set the tone for what’s ahead with more to come.

From Grayscale – the world’s largest digital asset-focused investment platform¹. Click below ⬇️

– Grayscale (@Grayscale) December 17, 2025

“I think [2026] will be a year of dollar weakness, Federal Reserve rate cuts, and strength in gold, silver… as well as Bitcoin, Ether, and some other crypto assets as digital stores of value. All of these should benefit from the macroeconomic climate we’re living through,” he told CNBC. 🌧️

Throw in that market structure bill, and you’ve got a recipe for crypto success. 🍳 ETFs will flourish, adoption will skyrocket, and your grandma might finally ask you what Bitcoin is. 👵

RIP DATs? 💀

Remember digital asset treasuries (DATs)? Yeah, neither does anyone else. Pandl calls them a “red herring”-basically, the crypto equivalent of a fad diet. 🍎 They had their moment in 2025, but now they’re about as relevant as a flip phone. 📱

“They are not going away, since some investors prefer accessing crypto through public equity vehicles, but they are unlikely to be major drivers of valuations on either the buy side or the sell side,” Pandl explained. 🚗

Instead, the focus is shifting to things that actually matter, like making crypto easier to use and more accessible. Because let’s face it, no one wants to read a 50-page whitepaper just to buy a coffee. ☕

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2026-01-03 01:22