Bitcoin Surges Past $112,000 While Alphabet Sweats—Find Out Who’s Crying Now! 😱🤑

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Well, let me spin you a yarn. Bitcoin, that unruly child of the digital age, has gone and pulled another stunt—climbed right past $112,000 like some hardworking field hand scrabbling up a fence for the last apple in the orchard. 🤠 After sampling a decent helping of anxiety these past weeks, the world’s grandest cryptocurrency has swaggered itself up the price chain and, with a wink and a smack of its dusty jeans, overtaken Alphabet Inc. in market value. Poor Google, guessing it’s back to the drawing board for them—maybe inventing a search engine to find their self-esteem? 😏

Now standing tall with a hoard of $2.213 trillion—yes, trillion, not a slip of the typewriter, folks—Bitcoin’s sparkling brighter than a prospector’s gold tooth in a Sacramento sunrise, while Wall Street’s gossiping like it just learned who kissed who in Salinas. 🚜

What’s cranking the wheels on this rickety, runaway wagon? Let’s pick through it, leaf by leaf.

US Lawmakers Finally Notice the Tractor in the Barn

The lawmakers, after years of wandering around like lost sheep, have finally managed to bump into the crypto barn door. Ripple’s head wrangler, Brad Garlinghouse, drove his wagon up to Congress and hollered about the infamous CLARITY Act—one of those bills trying to tell folks which side of the fence Bitcoin’s allowed to graze.

For possibly the first time in living memory, every last Senator sitting there managed not to call crypto a passing cloud or a new flavor of snake oil. 😲 Instead, they doffed their hats and agreed that maybe, just maybe, this thing called crypto is sticking around. Hope, it seems, is contagious—at least until the next committee meeting.

Trump Tosses Gasoline on the Bonfire

Not to be outdone, former President Donald Trump’s out here suggesting we slap those interest rates all the way down—three full percentage points, which hasn’t happened since bankers started wearing neckties. Lower rates often play matchmaker for investors and high-risk assets, so with Trump pouring this much moonshine on the fire, it’s no wonder the Bitcoin barn’s ablaze. 🔥

Dollar Looks for Its Lost Boots

The U.S. dollar’s not having its best day. The Dollar Index is flopping around, hopelessly beneath its 200-day average—a level it hasn’t seen since folks were texting on flip phones. A weak dollar drives investors off like startled quails, right into the arms of Bitcoin and its rowdy kin. And wouldn’t you know it? Here we are.

The Big Guns Don’t Stop Buying

On July 9th, folks with real pockets—those ETF giants—poured in another $215 million, making five days straight of letting their money do the Bitcoin boogie. BlackRock led the parade, Ark muscled in their share, and even Grayscale remembered to bring bread for the table. When the institutions show up to dinner, it ain’t because they’re after the salad. 🥧💼

Liquidations—Winner Takes All, Loser Sings the Blues

Meanwhile, there’s always a crop of dreamers who gambled last night and woke to find the bank foreclosed the next morning. In a single day, north of 114,500 traders got swept off the board—$515 million evaporated like water in a dust bowl wind. The largest loser? A $51.5 million BTC-USDT order on HTX. Ouch. The short-termers got burnt for $451 million, the long-term believers bade farewell to $64 million, and somewhere, a risk manager is blaming this all on the weather. 😬

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2025-07-10 11:16