In the overwrought halls of financial drama, Bitcoin—yes, our favorite digital darling that neither asks for bread nor sips our tea—decided to stagger back into the sunlight at the start of May. No small feat for a currency that doesn’t even have legs. Fat bank clerks sighed, investors blinked suspiciously at their screens, and mothers in dusty towns shook their heads: “It’s gambling, Pavel, pure gambling.”
On May 1, after two days wobbling like Uncle Vasya after vodka, Bitcoin took it upon itself to cheer up the nation of speculators. From the melancholy bottom of $94,115, it tottered up to a more smug $97,483—its highest since February, when people still bothered pretending they understood crypto.
To call this a “recovery” is to call Tolstoy’s War and Peace just a “family story.” From February’s lowly $78,900 (a price that made even old miners shudder) and April’s gruesome $75,000, Bitcoin has clambered up some 21% and 28%, respectively. As if to say, “I still have some jokes left.” 😏
On Friday’s session, a time when normal people shop for potatoes, Bitcoin sulked at $96,903, with the press-time crowd calculating tiny percentages like their lives depended on it. “We are up 0.24% in 24 hours; ring the church bells!” And, for the week? A robust 2.49%, causing some to order an extra samovar.
The Lucky STHs: Profit or Just Not Losing?
The news brought sweet relief to the martyrs—excuse me, short-term holders (STHs)—who purchased Bitcoin and spent the last month checking their portfolios more devotedly than their spouses. At last, profitability has returned to this anxious breed, according to solemn nods from Glassnode, who sound like a tragic Chekhovian doctor diagnosing a patient: “It may signal positive market momentum if maintained.” And if not—pass the vodka.
The cost basis ribbon for Short-Term Holders shows that investors holding $BTC for over 1 month have returned to profit. This shift eases sell pressure from older STHs and may signal early signs of positive market momentum if maintained.
— glassnode (@glassnode) May 2, 2025
It’s a relief for these holders, sure, but in true provincial fashion, everyone waits for the next misfortune. The macroeconomic backdrop remains as moody as a rainy day at a dying railway station: nonfarm payrolls ticked up to 177,000, just like last month’s samovar, maybe a little rattlier. Still, unemployment rests at 4.2%—steady, like Uncle Kolya’s complaints about the neighbors.
And on the horizon: next week’s Federal Reserve meeting. Anticipation hangs heavy in the air, like the smell of old cabbage in a summer cottage. Will they keep rates the same? Lower them a quarter-point in June? Three cuts before the New Year, says the rumor, but rumors are like Chekhov’s gun—reliable only in the last act.
So, dear reader: Bitcoin rises, investors hope, central bankers ponder—and somewhere offstage, an old man whispers, “Sell, buy, what’s the difference? I just want some peace and a good nap.”
Read More
- Crypto Chronicles: The Week’s Wild Ride with Bitcoin, Ethereum, and XRP! 🚀💰
- Gold Rate Forecast
- EUR MXN PREDICTION
- USD PLN PREDICTION
- XMR PREDICTION. XMR cryptocurrency
- TIA PREDICTION. TIA cryptocurrency
- GBP USD PREDICTION
- EUR CLP PREDICTION
- BTC PREDICTION. BTC cryptocurrency
- FIL PREDICTION. FIL cryptocurrency
2025-05-02 18:18