Markets
If you thought your morning coffee habit was expensive, meet the U.S.-listed Bitcoin miners. JPMorgan reports they hit a collective $50 billion market cap in September-because why not turn computational chaos into a financial spectacle? 🚀
The 14 miners tracked by the bank (because someone *definitely* needed a spreadsheet for this) saw their market cap surge 43% to $56 billion. Key drivers? Cipher Mining’s HPC colocation deal with Fluidstack and IREN’s Cloud Services expansion. Who knew mining Bitcoin could feel like attending a tech startup’s pitch deck for a toaster? 🥞
The Bitcoin network’s hashrate? Oh, it just had a little growth spurt. Up 9% to 1,031 EH/s in September. For context, that’s like if your brainpower suddenly spiked after a single night of sleep. But here’s the catch: mining profitability took a nosedive. Miners earned $49,700 per EH/s in September-10% less than August. Because nothing says “profit” like a 17% slump in daily gross profit. 💸
Bitfarms (BITF) outperformed with a 110% gain-kudos to them. Meanwhile, Cango (CANG) stumbled by 11%. Twelve miners beat Bitcoin itself in September. Proof that the market’s logic is about as predictable as my ex’s text responses. 🤷♂️
Hashrate: the blockchain world’s version of “multitasking.” It’s just everyone’s CPUs throwing a party and the electricity bill is the bouncer. 🎉
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2025-10-01 18:43